Three Questions Every Man is Asking

This post is one of the most favorite of 2012, reposted for your reading pleasure.

Every man is asking three questions in life. To solve anyone of these questions is a major accomplishment and would fuel his self-worth and personal achievements. When women know these questions and help “their man” find the answers; she will benefit. Men who are confident are men who know how to love. Relationships for a man are difficult unless he has a sense of direction and an internal felling of value.

If men are asking questions then what are the questions and where are the answers?

How can my family be financially secure?

How can I be a good father?

How can I make my wife happy?

First men must understand who they are before they ask the questions, “What can I do?”

Men have greater abilities than they think they do. Men strive for success instead of value. Even small successes add to a man’s ego but if a man would increase his value then he will be successful. Value is expressed through fatherhood, loyalty to his wife and completion of a “job well done.”  Every man possesses extreme influenceand offers amazing value to his family but many men feel worthless, powerless and some even feel dumb. Society hasn’t helped – it has endeavored to neutralize our men, men who have lost conviction, strength and even, their faith. But value is created by presence; taking time with a teenage son or daughter, dating his wife or celebrating an accomplishment of his children. Cell phone fasting while listening to the story of a son or daughter multiplies value to the time spent with them.

Men are better than they think they are. Men listen to “the lie.” “As a boy I …”, he begins and minutes later ends with a story of loss, degradation or misuse. The pounding words of personality subtraction weigh upon his mind until he no longer proudly proclaims, “I am a man.” Simply confessing “the lie,” letting go of “the lie,” and substituting real truth for “the lie,” will set a man free to enjoy his manliness. To be haunted with a lie instead

Men have better influence than they think they do. Men try to control instead of lead. Men have confessed,”They aren’t listening to me, so I just quit talking.” Instead of leading – he was demanding. Respect isn’t demanded – it is earned. Showing the way instead of pushing into the “right way” is a major tool in moving a son or daughter in the right direction. When a loving father shows a loving example in a loving disposition then he will reap loving children. I must admit I was not perfect as a father watching two children grow up into amazing adults but God is merciful, often, I would cry, “Lord, help me be the Father I need to be.” There is positional power where a man makes demands but at home there is personal power developing into loving and long-lasting relationships.

Men love their wife more than they show they do. Men look for acceptance in the wrong places. Pornography, an evening working relationship with the opposite sex and long embraces put a man in a whirlwind of disaster but the bottom answer is acceptance. Sex is not the drive – acceptance is. “I felt I had finally accomplished something,” is the sad confession of a fallen man. Marriage is the armour of God – my wife puts it on me every day. My accountability partner is my wife; she assists in keeping me in the boundaries. One of the greatest gifts a wife can give her husband is to accept him in his faults and failures. Praying together creates a strong bond of commitment and acceptance.

Comment: What would you add to this article to bring men up to their value?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

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Four IPad tricks to use today!

imagesSo you may be getting a new IPad for Christmas but you aren’t for sure about the features to utilize or maybe, to discover, I picked up my IPad in March 2012 and use it everyday for pleasure and for business. You will want to load the Adobe Reader, Facebook, Flipboard, Twitter, Smart Office 2, Kindle reader and LinkedIn from the ITunes Store on your first day of ownership. These items are the basic tools I use nearly everyday.

Transferring Your Desktop Files I Use Dropbox for my backup storage of important files on my desktop. Once Dropbox is loaded on your IPad (again, go to the ITunes store and download the app), also, go to the Dropbox website (Dropbox.com) and download the desktop version. Copy and paste the files you want in Dropbox. Now, go to your IPad and click on the Dropbox app – there are your files ready to open, view, and read. (I am assuming your IPad has a WiFi connection).

Creating an App Find a website you like to visit often but there isn’t an app available? Simply go to the website in your Safari browser. Once you have located the Home page of the website then go to the top left of your browser, there will be a small box with an arrow proceeding to the right of the box. Click on it and it will bring up a Mail selection you can email the link to someone) or send the page to Twitter, Facebook or other selections. Go to Add to Home Screen (the App is illustrated for you), click it and it will add the App to your Home screen.

ICloud I personally like to backup my information on the cloud (a remote server) so I have went to the settings app, scrolled down till I found ICloud, selected Storage and Backup and made sure ICloud was turned on. On the previous page select the programs you wish to backup, use sparingly, you only receive 5.0 GB free (you can purchase more later if you choose). I definitely wanted my Mail, Contacts, Calendars, Find my IPad, Photo Stream and Documents and Date in the ON position. Lose your IPad or upgrade later and you will be able to go to the ICloud for your information.

One more trick, get a protective cover. A friend of mine put his IPad on the top of his car, he forgot about it, until his wife called later after she had driven off, the IPad had slid down the back of the car onto the pavement, however, upon recovery, nothing was broken. Get a cover, today!

Comment: What is an IPad trick you use regularly?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Fathers, Tell This to Your Son Today

Picture1Fathers are important people. According to a study by Fathers.com father absence affects about 27 million children in America, and it’s spreading. It’s linked to higher rates of poverty, failure in school, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, violent crime, depression, and ultimately a loss of hope. There is hope however, in another study, 92% agree that fathers make a unique contribution to their children’s lives.

When a father is raising a boy to be a man there must be several , what I call, “daily proclamations.” These “proclamations” reinforce the man inside the boy plus, create a healthy respect for the authority in his life.

Proclamation #1 I love you, son. A father needs to say it often and a son needs to hear it often. As a boy faces his manhood it is essential he understands he is accepted and loved for who he is. Most boys wrestle with “belonging,” and being a man, when he hears his father express his acceptance and love – he develops appreciation.

Proclamation #2 What do you want to do at our next “man time.” Sometimes us fathers simply want our boys to “tag along” on our next excursion without ever asking, what is it you enjoy doing. If it within means and you are capable – give it a shot.  Boys need one to one “man time.” It may be fishing, hunting, hiking, camping or a hundred other things but the essence of the trip is to spend time “man to man.”

Proclamation #3 I trust you son, to make the right decisions. Life is complicated for a man but the reinforcement of positive expression based on past merit will continue to add to the son’s everyday habits and actions. Fathers must continually reinforce their trust in their sons decisions. Give him a little line – ask him questions – give him room to make his own decisions. remember, you didn’t always make the right decisions, he may falter or fail but boost him up with positive reinforcement. “You messed up but I have faith in you.”

Proclamation #4 Let’s pray together about this. It can be test grades, school friends, or more, but a judgemental prayer asking god to speak to our hearts. Yes, father and son, are asking for wisdom on this issue, “Lord, help us make the right decision.”

Proclamation #5 Your mother and I are doing all we can to be the best parents so you can have a great future. The greatest gift a child will ever receive in life is to know hs father loved his mother. When both parents are working together to mold a great future for their son – he will never forget it.

Order the book, Highpoints, For those Who Dare to Climb, at www.highpointbook.com

Comment: What is something you would add to the list of proclamations?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Change Your Marriage This Week

Picture1Sitting with seven men , some married 35 years, another over 12 years, another near 25 years, one guy only married for 2 and a half years. We were discussing ways to increase the “bond” between a husband and a wife. The answers were astounding. These guys were awesome as they planned how to show their wife, without a doubt, they were madly in love with her.

Smart husband #1 suggested spending quality time together; both had conflicting job schedules, so they had to configure date nights, family time and private time. This special time together became a priority in their marriage. Wether it was getting a babysitter while they went out to eat, took a walk together or had coffee together on breaks, they passionately planned their next time they would spend together.

Smart husband #2 suggested “courting” often. Courting is often used in southern states and simply implies dating with the attitude of creating a lifelong relationship, instead of a casual dating relationship. He and his wife frequently have “date nights” where they have a conversation, look into each other’s eyes, (with their cell phones off), and they express their feelings of love for each other.

Smart husband #3 offered “quick forgiveness.” Whenever there is a conflict or disagreement forgive quickly. Remember, he stated, “Love is the union of two good forgivers.” Marriage is not without its conflict but love is the ability to forgive the one you love quickly. Don’t go to bed mad. Get it settled so frustration doesn’t build up.

Smart husband #4 wisely commented he finds reading the Word of God and praying everyday, keeps him accountable to his wife. “God speaks to me about the kind of husband I need to be.” God helps me express my love to my wife and show her I love her. My relationship with God develops a strong bond between us.

Smart husband #5 after two and a half years of marriage I tell her often how much I love her. She loves to hear it. I say, “I Love You,” with my eyes and my heart.

Smart Husband #6 humbly admitted he started helping around the house, running a vacuum cleaner or wishing the dishes, without bragging about it. When we work together she knows it is because I love her.

Smart husband #7 finished with, I text her or call her often to let he know how much I am thinking of her throughout the day. She is foremost on my mind. She knows she is the queen of my heart because I keep in touch with her feelings.

Normal guys with smart ideas. why not put these into action and become part of the smart husband group?

Comment: What would you add to the list?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

One Thing That Will Depreciate Your Life

angerOf all the little quirks, habits, inconsistencies or sins that will divert, depreciate or even, destroy your life, it is this one thing. One little thing, Solomon illustrates, “The little foxes destroy the vine.” Little yet it grows. Little yet so deceitful. Little yet so big.

Pride! Pride steals attention from the real important to the less important. Pride diverts “them” to “me.” Pride steals joy when I can’t get my way or when I can’t get enough attention. Pride demands I spend countless hours adding up my injustices. Pride will demeanor my friendships. Pride is selfish. Pride lacks love.

Self defence doesn’t have to be love but jealousy, revenge, anger and lust often flow from pride. I want my way and I want it now. Pride is an evil task master. However. dressing nice is not always pride, a handsome dude or a beautiful woman is not always pride. A nice home, clean car, money in the bank is not pride, no, but it can be. If I count the lowly as unimportant. If I snicker at the poor or quickly pass by the hurting; you definitely don’t want to be caught in the same company as such, that’s pride.

Without sounding too preachy; let’s choose out the anti-pride actions:

Pride is destroyed when you forgive. While pride keeps us from forgiveness – a forgiving heart will keep us from pride.

Talk to children. They are people too. Very important people.

Don’t be afraid to have a decent conversation with a poor man. in fact, we can go the extra mile by taking him a gift or a plate of food during the holidays, (or, any day for that matter).

Laugh with everyone and laugh at no one. Pride makes us think we are better than everyone else – sorry, but we are equal – not better.

Respect everyone regardless of race, creed, religion or sex. You don’t have to agree with them but we must respect them.

Let compassion show in your eyes, heart and actions. Pride says don’t get involved.

Go above and beyond for your enemies. Just because someone doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you must try the rest of your life to “get them to like you” but you can rise above their attitude, swallow pride, and show them kindness, respect and care.

Pride is not a good guide – follow your heart. Pride will redirect a person from his real friends when his pride is hurt. Go forward – be a friend with a great attitude.

Pride is not a loss of conviction but a heightened sense of self-awareness. Teenage girls play this game; if you like them, you don’t like me. Transferring this game into adulthood is childish.

Prayer is a selfless path. The more a person prays the more they are concerned about others and less about themself.

Order the book, Highpoints, For those Who Dare to Climb, at www.highpointbook.com

Comment: Has pride ever grabbed you? How did you let it go?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Confidence

4581Confidence. Sometimes you have it – sometimes you don’t. Fear  is the opponent in the wrestling match between fear and faith. Confidence is the trophy. If fear wins your confidence you will cower, shrink, pull back, make excuses and worry. If faith wins the fight between fear and faith – confidence has won. You push, you go forward, no recoil nor retreat, you write, you sing, you speak, you plan, you dive, you (in the words of NIKE) “just do it.”

Confidence continues in its strength with experience, with trust, with past accomplishments and with courage, most of all, courage. Confidence doesn’t cause fear to disappear but confidence stands with a vibrant proclamation, “I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.” Confidence has a strong foundation built on strength from my daily walk with Jesus Christ. It has little to do with the perfection of my art, the expression of my talent or the exuberance of my gift; but more with the simple fact; I did it.

Confidence doesn’t mean you won’t fail, be imperfect, hear criticism or create enemies but faith means I will continue with confidence in spite of them all. My accountability team keeps me humble, my wife keeps me dreaming and my Lord keeps me focused.

Confidence and pride can be related but don’t have to be – some of the most confident people I have met have been humble. Confidence is inner strength to move with outward resolve.

I have written not knowing if anyone would read, I have prayed and not known when the answer was coming, I have planned and not seen the end result but confidence wakes me in the morning with a renewed passion to write again, pray again and plan again. Confidence tries! Confidence tries hard!

Confidence says, go ahead, “you can do all things through Christ.”

Comment: What have you done to increase your confidence?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Facebooks Changes to Make Today

Qq6L1haQrYrFacebook  should have been named, “New Face Look” with the multiple changes and upgrades made over the last year. Some have been incremental others detrimental and others, just plain “mental!” Before you throw in the towel and give up on Facebook remember it is a unique contact book for finding your friends and sending them a quick message or seeing the 20 millionth picture of their grandkids, (ok, I plead, “guilty”).

Very quickly, let’s make three basic changes to your Facebook to help you feel a little more secure, have a little more sanity and have a little more ease when using Facebook.

I am using my IPad and on the top left of the News Feed on Facebook are three short horizontal bars. Click on it and you will find a long list of Favorites, Pages, Friends, Groups, Apps, and a few Account choices. Go to Account Settings and click to open. A new page will open with a list containing General, Notifications, Privacy etc., go to Privacy. Now, you will make three important choices:

Control Privacy When You Post You have three selections to choose to who you wish to post to; Public, Friends or Custom. I chose Friends; only the friends I have accepted to my Facebook account will see what I post.

Timeline and Tagging Who can post on your timeline? Here you can choose who can read your Timeline and who can Post on your Timeline. The one selection I made here I believe is worth repeating is the third question down, Review posts friends tag you in on your timeline. I selected ON. I want to be able to select the pictures and tags before they are posted on my Timeline.

Blocked People and Apps Click on Manage blocking and a new page should appear. This is a permanent block that keeps hackers, spammers or “just plain rude” people from coming to your Facebook page.

Comment: Have you found this post helpful? Are there changes you have made to your Facebook account that you would like to share?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Rescue Your Finances Before the Holiday Crush

moneyMoney is either a blessing or a curse. Either the surplus of it or the lack of it. Nothing separates friends, spouses and relationships like money. The holiday seasons seem to drain what little money we do have. We have worked hard and we spend freely because we deserve a few nice things. The problem is – credit burns. Black debits follow Black Friday. We spend more than we want to get less than we need. You can’t find simple solutions to hard problems but there are three simple changes to help ease the “money burden” of the holiday season.

Save Some Plan to put a little money back every payday, even if it is only $5.00. Five dollars a week with buy a good tire in three months. Five dollars a week in six months will buy a good used wash machine. Five dollars a week for a year is $240.00 – now that’s a nice start for next years Christmas.

Spend Little Real hard, you say. Yes, but let’s cut it into bite size pieces.

  • Take a list and only buy what is on the list.
  • Don’t go to the store when you are hungry.
  • Make your speciality coffees at home. Google the recipes.
  • Use coupons.
  • Take only the amount of cash you can spend.

Think More Find creative ways to make money or to spend less. One woman made purses out of left over scrap material, sold them and made extra holiday cash. One lady made pumpkin rolls by taking orders from area businesses. One woman did holiday decorating for others, another sold Avon, another cleaned houses for the holidays. Yes, you can do it!

Comment: Can you think of another way to make some holiday cash?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Four Life Changing Prayers

prayer

Prayer has often been reduced to a cry for help, a list of wants or a plea for mercy. These types of prayer are not wrong in their nature but may be wrong chronologically. If we choose to make life changing decisions about life changing direction then we must learn how to pray life changing prayers.

Make me The prodigal son left home demanding, “Give me!” But came home crying, “Make me.”  A humble fall will melt our demanding heart into a quiet plea, “God, make me into the person you want me to be.”

Use me The complete satisfaction we look for is not found in serving ourself but serving others.  Finding your exact gift, purpose and life service results in personal joy and completeness.     

Forgive Me We need to let go. Get it off your chest. Jesus, forgive me. Let it go!

Bless me It is in the heart of God to bless you more than you can believe for. God wills to bless you with good. You are the apple of His eye and He desires to bless you with His presence. Simply cry out in a still small voice “Jesus, bless me now.”

Comment: Has this blog helped you today?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author