This post is one of the most favorite of 2012, reposted for your reading pleasure.
Every man is asking three questions in life. To solve anyone of these questions is a major accomplishment and would fuel his self-worth and personal achievements. When women know these questions and help “their man” find the answers; she will benefit. Men who are confident are men who know how to love. Relationships for a man are difficult unless he has a sense of direction and an internal felling of value.
If men are asking questions then what are the questions and where are the answers?
How can my family be financially secure?
How can I be a good father?
How can I make my wife happy?
First men must understand who they are before they ask the questions, “What can I do?”
Men have greater abilities than they think they do. Men strive for success instead of value. Even small successes add to a man’s ego but if a man would increase his value then he will be successful. Value is expressed through fatherhood, loyalty to his wife and completion of a “job well done.” Every man possesses extreme influenceand offers amazing value to his family but many men feel worthless, powerless and some even feel dumb. Society hasn’t helped – it has endeavored to neutralize our men, men who have lost conviction, strength and even, their faith. But value is created by presence; taking time with a teenage son or daughter, dating his wife or celebrating an accomplishment of his children. Cell phone fasting while listening to the story of a son or daughter multiplies value to the time spent with them.
Men are better than they think they are. Men listen to “the lie.” “As a boy I …”, he begins and minutes later ends with a story of loss, degradation or misuse. The pounding words of personality subtraction weigh upon his mind until he no longer proudly proclaims, “I am a man.” Simply confessing “the lie,” letting go of “the lie,” and substituting real truth for “the lie,” will set a man free to enjoy his manliness. To be haunted with a lie instead
Men have better influence than they think they do. Men try to control instead of lead. Men have confessed,”They aren’t listening to me, so I just quit talking.” Instead of leading – he was demanding. Respect isn’t demanded – it is earned. Showing the way instead of pushing into the “right way” is a major tool in moving a son or daughter in the right direction. When a loving father shows a loving example in a loving disposition then he will reap loving children. I must admit I was not perfect as a father watching two children grow up into amazing adults but God is merciful, often, I would cry, “Lord, help me be the Father I need to be.” There is positional power where a man makes demands but at home there is personal power developing into loving and long-lasting relationships.
Men love their wife more than they show they do. Men look for acceptance in the wrong places. Pornography, an evening working relationship with the opposite sex and long embraces put a man in a whirlwind of disaster but the bottom answer is acceptance. Sex is not the drive – acceptance is. “I felt I had finally accomplished something,” is the sad confession of a fallen man. Marriage is the armour of God – my wife puts it on me every day. My accountability partner is my wife; she assists in keeping me in the boundaries. One of the greatest gifts a wife can give her husband is to accept him in his faults and failures. Praying together creates a strong bond of commitment and acceptance.
Comment: What would you add to this article to bring men up to their value?
Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author
So you may be getting a new IPad for Christmas but you aren’t for sure about the features to utilize or maybe, to discover, I picked up my IPad in March 2012 and use it everyday for pleasure and for business. You will want to load the Adobe Reader, Facebook, Flipboard, Twitter, Smart Office 2, Kindle reader and LinkedIn from the ITunes Store on your first day of ownership. These items are the basic tools I use nearly everyday.
Fathers are important people. According to a study by Fathers.com father absence affects about 27 million children in America, and it’s spreading. It’s linked to higher rates of poverty, failure in school, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, violent crime, depression, and ultimately a loss of hope. There is hope however, in another study, 92% agree that fathers make a unique contribution to their children’s lives.
Sitting with seven men , some married 35 years, another over 12 years, another near 25 years, one guy only married for 2 and a half years. We were discussing ways to increase the “bond” between a husband and a wife. The answers were astounding. These guys were awesome as they planned how to show their wife, without a doubt, they were madly in love with her.
Of all the little quirks, habits, inconsistencies or sins that will divert, depreciate or even, destroy your life, it is this one thing. One little thing, Solomon illustrates, “The little foxes destroy the vine.” Little yet it grows. Little yet so deceitful. Little yet so big.
Confidence. Sometimes you have it – sometimes you don’t. Fear is the opponent in the wrestling match between fear and faith. Confidence is the trophy. If fear wins your confidence you will cower, shrink, pull back, make excuses and worry. If faith wins the fight between fear and faith – confidence has won. You push, you go forward, no recoil nor retreat, you write, you sing, you speak, you plan, you dive, you (in the words of NIKE) “just do it.”
Facebook should have been named, “New Face Look” with the multiple changes and upgrades made over the last year. Some have been incremental others detrimental and others, just plain “mental!” Before you throw in the towel and give up on Facebook remember it is a unique contact book for finding your friends and sending them a quick message or seeing the 20 millionth picture of their grandkids, (ok, I plead, “guilty”).
Money is either a blessing or a curse. Either the surplus of it or the lack of it. Nothing separates friends, spouses and relationships like money. The holiday seasons seem to drain what little money we do have. We have worked hard and we spend freely because we deserve a few nice things. The problem is – credit burns. Black debits follow Black Friday. We spend more than we want to get less than we need. You can’t find simple solutions to hard problems but there are three simple changes to help ease the “money burden” of the holiday season.
JIM LAUDELL 