Fathers are important people. According to a study by Fathers.com father absence affects about 27 million children in America, and it’s spreading. It’s linked to higher rates of poverty, failure in school, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, violent crime, depression, and ultimately a loss of hope. There is hope however, in another study, 92% agree that fathers make a unique contribution to their children’s lives.
When a father is raising a boy to be a man there must be several , what I call, “daily proclamations.” These “proclamations” reinforce the man inside the boy plus, create a healthy respect for the authority in his life.
Proclamation #1 I love you, son. A father needs to say it often and a son needs to hear it often. As a boy faces his manhood it is essential he understands he is accepted and loved for who he is. Most boys wrestle with “belonging,” and being a man, when he hears his father express his acceptance and love – he develops appreciation.
Proclamation #2 What do you want to do at our next “man time.” Sometimes us fathers simply want our boys to “tag along” on our next excursion without ever asking, what is it you enjoy doing. If it within means and you are capable – give it a shot. Boys need one to one “man time.” It may be fishing, hunting, hiking, camping or a hundred other things but the essence of the trip is to spend time “man to man.”
Proclamation #3 I trust you son, to make the right decisions. Life is complicated for a man but the reinforcement of positive expression based on past merit will continue to add to the son’s everyday habits and actions. Fathers must continually reinforce their trust in their sons decisions. Give him a little line – ask him questions – give him room to make his own decisions. remember, you didn’t always make the right decisions, he may falter or fail but boost him up with positive reinforcement. “You messed up but I have faith in you.”
Proclamation #4 Let’s pray together about this. It can be test grades, school friends, or more, but a judgemental prayer asking god to speak to our hearts. Yes, father and son, are asking for wisdom on this issue, “Lord, help us make the right decision.”
Proclamation #5 Your mother and I are doing all we can to be the best parents so you can have a great future. The greatest gift a child will ever receive in life is to know hs father loved his mother. When both parents are working together to mold a great future for their son – he will never forget it.
Order the book, Highpoints, For those Who Dare to Climb, at www.highpointbook.com
Comment: What is something you would add to the list of proclamations?
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