Achieve Your Goals This Year

Goals like resolutions are often broken without the intended results we wished for – I know, I have done the same thing only to feel guilty and disappointed in myself. However, last year’s goals were beat beyond my expectation and create a greater confidence in God and my purpose in life. Whether jogging, writing, blogging, dieting, prayer, spiritual growth or business projections, you CAN do it.

Here are some of the tools I use frequently in setting goals:

Write Each One Down Writing down your goals is essential in “fleshing out” your dreams. Placing your goals on paper builds a system of checks and balances.

Develop a Bull’s Eye Be specific. Be focused. You may have to rewrite your goals, as I have done, they can’t be general, for instance, “write a blog” may be better stated, “write on my blog twice a week.” A goal must be “zeroed in on” if you are to be satisfied with the results.

Collect Pictures Gather pictures (I call them “visual reminders”) to consistently remind me of the goals I created and the hopes of accomplishment. Place them in a prominent position so you can view them frequently.

Build a Theme This has been a huge plus for me in accomplishing my goals. For instance, my theme this year is “APPROPRIATING.” Simply appropriate my dreams into life settings. Having a scripture underneath my theme is a double positive, my scripture this year is, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Evaluate Often Check your goals often, don’t be disappointed if you didn’t accomplish one goal or two, I have set 18 Health, Reading, Praying, Living, Family and Financial goals this year, There will be many I accomplish, hopefully all of them but realistically some may fall by the wayside.

Do the Little Ones First You can build momentum to the larger ones by accomplishing the little goals first. I usually read my Bible, read my devotional, read a chapter in a book, pray, write in my blog, exercise and more; by 8:00 in the morning I have already accomplished half of my 18 annual goals. However, here is a caution, don’t be so mesmerized by the small goals accomplished that you’re not spurned on to the larger goals.

Don’t be Afraid of Baby Steps Some goals take longer, so I must be incremental, in other words, steps must be set to each goal, “How will I reach the goal?” For blogging, I set ten to twenty minutes to write so I can have two posts a week, maybe I write in the morning, maybe a little in the afternoon, but I stair step to the goal rather than take giant steps. Don’t be afraid to jog .5 miles for two or three months. Add 10% growth to your accomplishment the next month.

Pray About It Purpose in life is God-given and goals develop purpose in my life. It is reasonable to pray about the life I am living in God’s purposes.

Memorize Scripture This is something I stumbled upon to be honest. My wife and I decided to memorize together Psalms 91, not only did it erase fear but it placed our mind and spirit in a different frame of mind. Sharpen your mind by memorizing and meditating on the Word of God.

Celebrate Accomplishment When some goals have been accomplished I will go to a coffee shop, take my iPad and just savor the moment. Goals can’t be driven 24/7 – you must find time to think, relax and enjoy.

Comment: What system do you use to accomplish your goals?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

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The Ephesians Six Husband

prayerSome friends of ours celebrated their Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary recently. Friends, family and acquaintances gathered to celebrate their lifelong commitment to each other. If you were to ask her how the blushing bride did it, she would gladly reply, “I prayed for my husband every day.”

Of all the qualities of my wife, I am most appreciative of my wife’s one most important task, she prays for me.  She daily prays for me. Not only have I felt her prayers but I have seen the answer to her prayers frequently. My wife has a unique prayer pattern, she prays for me to become an Ephesians Six Man. She takes each verse and prays every aspect into my life. It is interesting to note the Armor of God follows the discourse on marriage; it isn’t difficult to believe it is intentional.

Ephesians 6:13-18  Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

She visualizes placing the armor of God upon me each day. She prays the following according to Ephesians 6:

Armor “God will strengthen my husband to be able to stand against adversity and stand firm in the face of opposition.”

Loins Girded “God will always reveal truth to my husband’s heart and expose fads, false prophets, and foolish tales.”

Breastplate “God will cloth my husband in righteousness and he will live a pure and holy life.”

Feet “His light will shine and my husband will influence many for Jesus Christ.”

Shield “God will enable my husband to resist temptation. Pornography, seducers and illicit women will not appeal to him in any manner.”

Helmet “My husband’s mind will be open to the voice of God and he will be protected from wrong.”

Sword of the Spirit “The Word of God will grow in His life, be evident in his steps and be the love of his life.”

Prayer “Prayer will be my husband’s foremost desire and he will find sweet and precious fellowship in the presence of the Lord.”

Comment: How do you pray for your husband each day? What do you think is the most effective way to pray for your husband?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Raising Our Children to Be Spiritual Champions

Picture1Holding a newborn has always been a challenge, they are so fragile, but holding my newborn shook me to the very core. Even though that sacred moment occurred several years ago the imagery still captures my hearts, A father holding his own baby for the first time and thinking, “Now what?”

My children are grown and raising their own family but I remembering asking, “Now what?” on their first day of school, their teenage years, the moment they brought home someone they “had their eye on.” Contemplating my role as a father has been questioned, oh, not by others, but over and over in my own mind. I read books, I watched how other father’s did it and I even prayed about it, “Dear God, make me a good father.”

Raising children has never been easy and pointing fingers at other’s mistakes in our own self-righteous stance only sets us up for possible failure.

Several things are for sure about parenting:

  • Being a parent is not easy
  • You will make mistakes
  • When your children grow up, they will make their own mistakes.
  • We need God’s help

However, culture in its demoralized state unfortunately has been a chokepoint in the arena of child rearing. Building spiritually aware children and youth takes initiative, action and consistency. Perfectionism isn’t required but daily character reinforcement is required. What we do must be done intentionally and habitually.

Here are Six Habits in Raising Our Children as Spiritual Champions:

Pray Daily With Your Children – nothing, I repeat nothing, has the power to make your child a spiritual champion as prayer does. Praying in the morning with your children, before they leave for school, helps place the right spirit around them. Close the day with prayer and prayer requests, praying one for another.

Ask Questions – have moments of conversation and interaction with your children each day. Inquisitive and investigation are miles apart. Find out what is important to them. Talk about the hard things – friends, sex, dirty words, sexting, and pornography, coupled with God’s biblical design for a holy body, mind, spirit and life.

Involve Yourself In Their Life – What do they like to do? Can their friends come over your house for a pizza party? Take them, don’t just send them, to church camps, outings, and sport events, including hunting, camping and fishing.

Go On Word Adventures Together – Study a subject, theme or passage of scripture together. Make the Word of God exciting to your children. Welcome missionaries and other godly figures into your home. Share God’s Word with your children regularly when you camp together, go on a trip and regularly at night before bedtime.

Cleanse Your Home – Letting something get in their minds through illicit TV programs, vulgar music or movies may take months to root out. Make sure the internet is guarded and your children are warned of predators. Teach your children modesty and self-respect.

Love Them Unconditionally – tell them you love them, frequently and meaningfully. Go throughout the day with a positive word and a hug. Praise them for making a wise choice and doing the right thing.

 

Comment: What advice do you give to parents wanting to raise spiritual champions in their home.

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Questions I Ask Before Making A Change

noGrowth and maturity are based on change. So change in a life growth plan is inevitable. To change is to step into tomorrow while holding on to foundational truths of yesteryear but letting go of bygone preferences. Since growth is incremental the decision to change must be the first step. Most of us agree to this point but how do we make personal changes, life changes and organizational changes for the best? The idea of change clashes with the change process. We know we should but how do we bring change to the table in an acceptable manner?

Maybe we should ask five heart searching questions, I ask myself:

Is The Change Necessary? Change for change sake is ridiculous. Change for revenge sake is evil. Change for the sake of finding something new is irrational. So I must ask myself  three intrinsic questions: Am I attempting to become obedient to the Word of God? Is it my desire to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit? Or, is the change a personal preference?

Is The Change Minor Or Major To Me? Before we ask the question on how it affects others I must ask myself how does this change me? What sacrifices will I need to make? Will it have long-term or short-term effects? How does it affect my family?

How Many People Will The Change Personally Effect? Change has a ripple effect. Will it affect just those around me, my congregation or my community – for the better or for the worse?

What Is The First Step I Must Take To Bring About This Change? Must I make some personal changes first? Is there something I need to begin personally before I make this change public? Am I willing to suffer the consequences?

Have I Prayed About It? No, I mean really prayed about? Haws God-given His stamp of approval? Do you feel the peace of God or do you wrestle with it? Have you asked for the counsel of godly men around you?

If bringing myself to the place of confidence is the first step then bringing others to the place of confidence must be the second step;  I ask others:

Who Is Affected By This Change? I may discover some resistance that I may not have anticipated had I just asked this simple question among my peers or those who circle around me. Not all change will attract all people but all change must attract God’s blessing. A circle around you is imperative to creating change around you.

Do You Understand What Must Die And What Must Live? Have those around you create a checklist of the essentials and the nonessential, list the positives and the negatives, list what lives and what dies? This exercise will cut off unmet expectations and hidden turns in the future.

Do You Understand Why We Are Making This Change? The big why Is more important than the what must change, who must change or when will we change? If the why is not clear then step back and wait.

Have We Prayed About It? Prayer together is the solidifier. Melting together means staying together. Prayer creates an atmosphere for change. If we haven’t prayed then plans, purpose and projects are skeletons of vision resulting in disappointments.

 

Comment: How do you prepare for change?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

When Do You Need A Mentor?

Picture1Now – Is the correct answer. Life is better when another set of eyes views the project. Life is better when another heart feels concern. Life is better when another mind has assisted in thinking out the process. Life is better when two carry the load.

A young couple found another couple in their church; this couple had been married about ten years more and had served God since their teens. The young couple heard laughable and insightful stories to encourage them through the bumps in their own marriage.

A pastor was navigating his church through difficult waters, stressful and tired, he and his wife called an older pastor and his wife over for dinner. The evening went quickly and after the older couple left, the pastor’s wife smiled at her husband, “I feel totally refreshed.”

An aspiring writer wanted to put something together but kept hitting rough spots; she called an experienced author and asked if they could meet over coffee. They did and continue to meet – inspiring each other.

A mentor may meet once but most likely will meet several times and often. A mentor is not a counselor but a coach. Not “I have all the answers” but “let’s find the answers.” A mentor doesn’t push but coaxed. A mentor is concerned and you should be honest but a mentor is not a garbage can to put your trash in.

Mentors Coach You To Go To The Next Level. If you wish to grow in a more rapid pace you will need a coach. A true mentor will encourage you to take risks with careful consideration, to spend money frugally, and to make decisions prayerfully.  A wise mentor will not push you to the next level but will persuade you to take the next step.

Mentors Address The Vision. Mentors will dig until your true vision comes to the surface. Mentors will prod until your true feelings are exposed. Mentors ask questions about your vision, your dream and your purpose in life.

Mentors Discover The Path. A mentor will encourage you to take the first step in the right direction. A classroom, a conference, a phone call, a book, may be the right step but a mentor will help you find what the next step is.

Mentors Will Pray With You. A real mentor knows prayer unveils truth, discovers direction, and fills the heart. Compassion is the unique quality of an effective mentor. You may not see them every week but when you do you know it is a God moment. Praying together helps the heart to find its purpose.

Comment: What do you feel is a great characteristic of a mentor? Do you have a mentor?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Creating Unbelievable Respect for the Pastor’s Wife

prayerThe greatest advice my wife has given to Pastor’s wives is to keep your mouth shut during times of conflict and be an encourager to your husband but a Pastor often neglects, ignores or sometimes just doesn’t include his wife into his ministry role.

I remember when I was dating my wife it was important for me to know are you called into the ministry? I knew my ministry and her ministry had to mesh but in my first few years of ministry I had forgotten about her being called into the ministry and pursued my ministry.

Pastor’s wives were never intended to be a shadow but to be the First Lady of the church. She may not desire a position, she may not crave attention, she may not wish to be in front of people but she is created to be respected. You can create respect for the Pastor’s wife by a few simple steps:

Be Her Greatest Fan – Speak frequently of your wife in endearing terms from the pulpit and in public settings. Don’t degrade her but promote her. She doesn’t just raise your kids she is half of your ministry.

  • Applaud her – admire her ambition, her words and her lifestyle and compliment her frequently privately and publicly
  •  Listen to her cautions and advice. She may not know the whole story but her intuition might save you from making a quick and careless decision.

Take Out Point: Respect and honor for your wife is God’s idea

 

Tell Stories or Embarrassing Events ONLY With Her Permission. This is one of the biggest pastoral “no-nos” there is. She doesn’t need the dirty laundry hanging on the line for the whole church to snicker at. She deserves privacy. Transparency behind the pulpit is your transparency not her transparency.

Take Out Point: Respect from the church for the Pastor’s wife begins with the Pastor.

 

Bring Her Along Side of You Build a ministry consciousness around you that includes her in your schedule of activities, ministry functions and counseling avenues. This may not be possible at all times but doing ministry together is fair, functional and fun.

Take Out Point: The church security rests on the relationship of the Pastor and his wife.

 

Answer Her Phone Calls Secretarial calls are to not screen family. Put them through. When she calls – tell the other party it is my wife – answer the phone – tell her you are with someone – listen to her response – finish the conversation with “I love you.” This is a powerful testimony of respect but gives your wife the security she desires when you are with someone else.

Take Out Point: Let those who surround you know your wife comes first.

 

Bring Her Into Your Personal Life Share prayer requests together. You may not be able to tell her the details of a closed-door board meeting but let her know you have to make some stressful decisions and pray about it together. Allow her to be your soul mate.

Take Out Point: The couple that prays together stays together.

 

Comment: How do you let others know you honor your wife?
Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Four Things A Husband Needs to Know About His Wife

11lAfter nearly 36 years of studying my wife I can say with a hearty proclamation, “There is yet so much to learn.” My wife, along with other women in the world, is intriguingly and meticulously created with unique features defining her as woman. No wonder Adam, when wakened from a deep sleep, cried out, “WHOA! MAN!” – Thus, woman.
There is so much more to learn yet there are a few explicit details that emerge fitting the generalities of women. This isn’t a blueprint – it is merely one man’s observation of God’s female creation. Though this is written for men’s information; I know there are women reading this who will print it, post it and may actually hang it on the mirror for their husband to read, and read and re-read.

She is Unique – She Needs Your Love

Perhaps the Bible explains this the best way. She is the weaker vessel but not like you think. As far as strength – she may beat you in arm wrestling. As far as board games – she may skunk you. As far as putt-putt she may make you look bad. But the weaker vessel doesn’t mean weak in the sense of lack but a better interpretation may be fragile vase. As a fragile vase she is uniquely created, with detail. Study her and you will find a unique design, precious detail and amazing quality. She has value, she is a treasure, and she is to be honored, just as you would an heirloom, an expensive, a fragile vase. Admire her, lift her up and respect her and you will discover the hidden value of the women you call wife.
Take Home Point – Love her intentionally

She is Communicative – She Needs You to Listen
Hands down women love to talk, think out loud and communicate their feelings. Maybe men need to open up a bit but until then. When she speaks she needs her husband to listen, listen with his ears and his eyes. Really listen to her thoughts not just her words. You may not understand where she is coming from or why she is saying what she is saying but listen. Listen with your heart, be involved, don’t try to fix it – just try to be understanding. She may need a hug more than your reply.
Take Home Point – Listen intentionally

She has Insight – She Needs Your Understanding
Take the time to delve into the multifaceted mind of your wife as she looks with her eyes, thinks with her mind, feels with her heart and is sensitive to your touch. This is a women’s insight. She feels “something.” She knows people. She reads between the lines. And, she knows you; that’s the scary part. In fact, I move – she reads me. Ouch! As a husband you may not understand her insight but it is not as important as her wanting to know you are trying to understand her feelings and insights.
Take Home Point – Learn intentionally

She Has Her Moments – She Needs Your Faithfulness
She may question your love one day. She wants to know do I look good in this? – not for others but for you. She may ask you if she looks fat? – not for others but for you. She may ask do you like my hair? – not for others but for you. She wants to know you love her for who she is and you are committed till death do us part. She may be crabby, complaining, critical and even nagging but she still loves you and wants you to be totally committed to love her forever. She knows she has her moments – she knows you do to but she wants to be secure on knowing you will stand by her, hold her hand in public and be her man for the rest of your lives.
Take Home Point – Live faithfully

Comment: What do you know about your wife – how do you let her know you honor her?
 Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Finding Your Purpose in Life

1548_1548_5The will of God has been identified as purpose, God’s plan, His purpose or life fulfillment. Yet good-hearted, sensitive and even, prayerful individuals are ever seeking for the “will of God.” The will of God is nearer than you think. For most the will of God is already brewing in your heart. Your passion is mostly the will of God burning in your soul. The thing you most like to do has been implanted in your heart and magnified throughout life to reveal God’s perfect will for your life.

Purpose cannot be defined in a day but it can be revealed to you in one day. You may not understand the where and the when and the how but once you know the why then God’s will be defined to you within one day.  Your inner heart already knows the WHY but you must seek God until you recognize it.

There is the general will and the specific will of God. The general will of God can apply to a lot of some bodies but the specific will of God is for you and relatively few others. Let me illustrate by saying a lot of Americans own a car but the car you own has a title with a specific VIN # that uniquely makes it yours. While it is God’s general will to follow His command to “Go ye into all the world…” it is God’s specific will for an exact location for you.

You Are Not Out Of The Will Because You Failed. Failure in one area doesn’t mean you failed in all areas. Just because you struck out doesn’t mean you lost the ballgame. A fumble is embarrassing but doesn’t mean you can’t score a touchdown in the next quarter.

“Every great work, every great accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.”- Florence Scovel Shinn, Artist and Author

You Are Not Out Of The Will Of God Because It Is Hard Life is hard. Nobody promised it would be easy. Climbing is hard but the exhilarating view from the top of the mountain is worth it. The place God put you may be difficult at times but God wouldn’t have placed you there had He not had the confidence in you that you would endure, have the tenacity of a bulldog and win.

You Are Not Out Of The Will Of God Because It Is Inconvenient Similar to begin hard yet different. Inconvenient may mean it is not a comfortable ride. You can drive to California in a bus and it may be more inconvenient than to fly in a plane but you arrive at the same destination. Pray and God will give you the strength to endure.

You Are Not Out Of The Will Of God Because Others Don’t Agree With You Go to trusted counsel, express your feelings to a mentor or pour your heart out to your pastor but all friends may not feel about the “will of God” as you do. This is not an excuse for independence but after seeking the advice from experienced and caring counsel; get ready to watch minor reactions of negativity from others as you pursue your journey.

You Are Not Out Of The Will Of God When Your Feelings Change. Just ask the thermometer if change is inevitable. Feelings come and go but the will of God doesn’t change with your feelings. Stay firm, be determined to follow through and put your seat belt on until your roller coaster emotions are more predictable. Never make a change in the dark – seek transition only in the light.

Comment: How do you follow God’s plan and purpose for your life?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

 

Are You Ready to be a Mentor?

1548_1548_5Do you feel a shift in your life? Are you ready to embark on an amazing and prolific life shining with inward joy?  Why not become a mentor? Is my life best invested as a mentor? Is my life more fulfilling when I influence someone for the best – to make a difference in their life – to dramatically and intentionally invest in growing and developing leaders?

School teachers, educators, pastors teach in whole with corporate bodies of learning yet the most fulfilling and most productive is when the lecture becomes connection, when the sermon becomes discipleship and the lesson becomes a life well lived. Being a mentor will bring untold results. If each person has purpose and a God-given plan – where do we start and dramatically important, will we finish well?

 

Mentor Moments

An interesting benefit of working at Google is the 20 percent time program, allowing its employees to use up to 20 percent of their work week to create/invent/research special projects. Google claims several ideas turned into projects as a result of the 20 percent time program.

John Maxwell introduced the Pareto Principle in his book, Developing the Leader Within You. The Pareto Principle states, “20% of your priorities will give you 80% of your production If you spend your time, energy, money and personnel on the top 20% of your priorities.” Of course, the first element of this process is to gather your priorities on a list, evaluate each item till you discover the top 20% then begin to put your time, energy and money into the top 20%.  John Maxwell added, 20% of our time produces 80% of the results.

Some Christians live on the 20% rule of giving; the tithe (10%) to church and pay yourself, by placing 10% into a savings account and living off the 80%.

 

What would happen if I invested 20% of my time into another

individual’s ministry, talents, abilities or gifts?

 

Life is better when we invest into another person’s life with time, energy and finances – to reenergize their spirit to become a writer, a speaker, an educator or a leader. A field sown in mentorship will yield an abundant and bountiful harvest. To be an influencer in the lives of others is the law of replication. We do more becuase we have more leverage.

 

Mentor Matters

A mentor must be wise in choosing the aspiring and growing student. Age, success or position is not a prerequisite but a passion for heights, a love for learning and a mind for more must be mandatory. Simply picking a once a week spot isn’t enough – we must be educational, spiritual and intentional. Every mentor must gauge his involvement, evaluate his progress and live for a reason. Sometimes mentoring is more of a volleyball game of communication – each of the participants adding to the volley of ideas. Not a brainstorming session as much as a heart to heart resource of new visions and dreams.

Discipleship and mentoring must include life lessons, heartfelt communication, insights and wisdom, people matters and leadership principles but this is not a conclusive list. To mentor one must first know the person being mentored and the subject of the mentoring. The WHO and the WHY must be answered immediately. A cookie cutter mentor cannot serve each individual correctly. We must carefully sow the correct seed in the right field.

 

Mentor Motives

Steadfastness  A mentor, above all, will be an example to steadiness. No awkward or quirky turns but consistent and concrete decisions. Mentors don’t bring their battles into the growth process. This is not an emotional relationship but a life lesson. There will be time for tears, time for transparency and time for “aha” moments but a life of character and Christ likeness becomes the best teacher.   

Significance  A mentor must be willing to impart his life, this is not a list of do’s and don’ts but a life well lived, bringing significance to the table, teaching and living brought together. For mentorship to move from one level to the next both mentor and student must grow. Selfishness is left behind; there is no room for it. The mentor pushes the learner out of comfort zones and into accomplishments.

Spirituality  Encouragement into a close relationship with God is the quest of both the mentor and the learner. Both must grow in God if they intend to grow in any other area. The mentor doesn’t push religion but exemplifies that “he walks with God.” Pride and subjection are not allowed in the process and counseling is not the purpose. Mentor both teaches and learns both ways. Honor is given and is reciprocal.  

Comment: There are a lot of things to be added to this list but what would you add to this list of being a mentor?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

 

When is Change Worth Fighting For?

Picture2It is inevitable that changes will come. For some change comes slow and for some change comes quickly without premonition. One thing is for certain, most change will come whether you are ready or not. Change is the one thing that can change our future and give us resolve from the past. Though we shouldn’t change for changes sake a rut is simply a grave with the ends kicked out. While pursuing life and the dynamics of it we must institute change as a systematic growth pattern. Without change there will seldom be growth.

Changes come from a long list of correctives:

Age

Circumstances

Prayer

Health Concerns

Events

People

Pain

Knowledge

Error in Judgment

 Change comes – some is good and some is bad. Change may be perceived to be good and turn out bad and at other times change may be perceived good and turn out bad. It is easy to decide what changes to make when the doctor spells out a “heart healthy diet” or exercise regimen. You know what you must do to stay alive and you are willing to change even if it is abrupt. But many major changes in life are much more difficult to ascertain.

“… people change only when they hurt enough that they have to, learn enough that they want to, or receive enough that they are able to.” – John Maxwell

How do I decide when a change is necessary?

When Something Or Someone Is Damaging Your Mental, Physical Or Spiritual Well Being, You Need To Change. Incompatibility is loosely interpreted but when you feel threatened, abused or in danger you may need to make an immediate change in your personal life or your job.

When Your Wise Counsel Knows You Need To Change. Your best friends and relatives know how to look out for you but sometimes can be a little misleading. Go to “wise counsel” and ask for direction or leadership. An extra set of eyes can open up a different dimension into your life.

When God Speaks You Need To Change. If we listen to God’s voice or hear a message that confronts an issue in our life – we need to change. Many times changing jobs, houses or cars complicates the problems rather than solves the problem. Quick sudden changes are often the incorrect change. Change must be carefully thought out. Prayer can open the eyes of the blind and most of the time; it is my eyes that need opening up.

When You Have Carefully Weighed All The Options You May Need To Change. Remember – there may be an option you may not have thought of. Take your time – look in all directions. It is more difficult to reverse your decision after a wrong decision has been made.

Secondly and maybe more importantly, when NOT to change:

Don’t Change When You Are Depressed. Depression clouds the thinking and often fogs the decision making process. Never make a decision in the dark – wait till the light shines on it.

Don’t Change When It Can Detrimentally Affect Everyone Around You. Correct change should benefit most parties – a win-win situation. Let me weigh in – some change will not benefit everyone around you but when a great number of people suffer because you made a wrong decision; maybe a “more thought out” change would have been more beneficial to you and those around you. Remember, we are not an island. Abrupt change can dissever relationships for life – think before a major change.

Don’t Change When You Are Still Undecided. Making a change is never so aggravating as making an unclear change and finding you are more dissatisfied in the end.

Comment: What would you add to this list of “change” benefits?

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