Three Things Pastors Are Afraid Of

A CHURCH MEMBER WILL UNLOAD ON THEM RIGHT BEFORE SERVICE

Let’s face it Pastors go to the pulpit with a lot on their mind. Announcements may not have been made. They forgot to acknowledge a special guest in the service. The pastor was to receive a special offering for a mission’s project. A song was to be sang before the message. An emphasis was to be given for the children’s ministry. A sermon series introductory video was to be played right after you read your text.

Having a stage assistant can be invaluable even in smaller churches. The microphones are filled with fresh batteries. The microphone is tested and ready for the special song. The video has been set up to play. A note sheet has been placed on the pulpit for announcements and special acknowledgements. The pastor shouldn’t be responsible but a trainee into ministry can be introduced in this position.

If the pastor didn’t have enough on his mind, a church member comes to church ready to unload their pent up emotions and vents right before service. This unbelievable outbreak can harm, influence and overshadow the service. Why not try these?  Stay in your office till ten minutes before service; shake hands with a few people, make your way back to the pulpit and begin service. Position greeters and don’t linger in the lobby before service. Tell someone kindly, “I would like to hear what you have to say; I’m sure it is important but I still have a few hands to shake before service begins.” Smile and walk away. As pastor set the tone and the time for meetings.

A CHURCH MEMBER WILL GET ANGRY OVER SOMETHING THE PASTOR HAD LITTLE OR NO CONTROL OVER

Even the most perfect pastor will have someone get angry with their judgment or with a particular action. Don’t dismay. You are not in this boat alone. Pastors admit about two people get angry with the pastor every year. If the church runs 100 or 200 people and only one or two get upset a year; I’d say you are running a good average. Let’s face it a pastor can’t make everybody happy. In fact, you will go insane trying to make everybody happy. So what is a pastor to do? Let’s look at a few suggestions. (This is a big subject and deserves a blog post dedicated to this one item).

LET’S FACE IT A PASTOR CAN’T MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY

Firstly, make sure your communication of events, programs and ideas are given plenty of air space. The church bulletin, announcement screen, flyers, postcards or website should be informative and announced in advance.

Secondly, build a circle of protectors around you. Make a few decisions as Pastor, make most decisions as a team. This is called insurance. The board decided. The committee decided. The vision team decided. You may need to call a special church meeting but make sure everyone has the proper information before the meeting. Some meetings we discuss but don’t vote – it gives time to process the information and make a more informed decision the next meeting time.

Thirdly, treat everyone with respect. IF someone is angry don’t give a church member the luxury of dragging you into the fight, Smile and say, “Well…..” as Bethel Family Worship Center, Pastor Russell Hylton, suggests.

A CHURCH MEMBER WILL QUESTION MY INTEGRITY

Pastors want to get it right. They may suffer from depression because they can’t get it right every time but Pastors know that if they lose their integrity they lose the ministry. That’s right. In the ministry the moment integrity is gone then usually the church board will declare the Pastor incompetent and he will be terminated. Pastors know they aren’t perfect even though they try very hard to be perfect. They try to preach better, lead better and shepherd better but most guard their integrity because they know they could lose their spouse, their family, their church, their income and mostly, their intimate relationship with God. Let’s guard our heart by put security protections in place. Have a pastoral friend you can talk to. Date your wife. Read the Bible and pray daily. These are just a few safeguards that protect the heart. 

LET’S GUARD OUR HEART BY PUT SECURITY PROTECTIONS IN PLACE

In my office I have a picture of my wife’s and my wedding picture, is a picture going to save me from a closed door impurity – No, but it is one more hurdle that is in place to make it more difficult to lose my integrity. Integrity is the most valuable thing a pastor possesses and he must guard it with everything he has.

But what happens when someone misjudges a situation and questions your authority? Lies were conjured to judge Jesus – let’s look at his response.  He answered them not a word. There will be a time when you will speak in your defense but to speak in haste or angry only deepens the problem. Wait – sometimes giving the accuser enough time and he will trap himself with his own lie. Trust in God to speak up for you. God is very angry when people misjudge a man of God. Let God make the first move. Pray with your leaders. Humble yourself – arrogance will lose every battle. Stephen, when stoned in Acts 7, had the face of an angel, possible one of the most impacting moments in Paul’s later conversion. Let your leaders and congregation see Jesus in you.

Pastor, what are you mostly afraid of?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling.

Achieve Your Goals This Year

Goals like resolutions are often broken without the intended results we wished for – I know, I have done the same thing only to feel guilty and disappointed in myself. However, last year’s goals were beat beyond my expectation and create a greater confidence in God and my purpose in life. Whether jogging, writing, blogging, dieting, prayer, spiritual growth or business projections, you CAN do it.

Here are some of the tools I use frequently in setting goals:

Write Each One Down Writing down your goals is essential in “fleshing out” your dreams. Placing your goals on paper builds a system of checks and balances.

Develop a Bull’s Eye Be specific. Be focused. You may have to rewrite your goals, as I have done, they can’t be general, for instance, “write a blog” may be better stated, “write on my blog twice a week.” A goal must be “zeroed in on” if you are to be satisfied with the results.

Collect Pictures Gather pictures (I call them “visual reminders”) to consistently remind me of the goals I created and the hopes of accomplishment. Place them in a prominent position so you can view them frequently.

Build a Theme This has been a huge plus for me in accomplishing my goals. For instance, my theme this year is “APPROPRIATING.” Simply appropriate my dreams into life settings. Having a scripture underneath my theme is a double positive, my scripture this year is, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Evaluate Often Check your goals often, don’t be disappointed if you didn’t accomplish one goal or two, I have set 18 Health, Reading, Praying, Living, Family and Financial goals this year, There will be many I accomplish, hopefully all of them but realistically some may fall by the wayside.

Do the Little Ones First You can build momentum to the larger ones by accomplishing the little goals first. I usually read my Bible, read my devotional, read a chapter in a book, pray, write in my blog, exercise and more; by 8:00 in the morning I have already accomplished half of my 18 annual goals. However, here is a caution, don’t be so mesmerized by the small goals accomplished that you’re not spurned on to the larger goals.

Don’t be Afraid of Baby Steps Some goals take longer, so I must be incremental, in other words, steps must be set to each goal, “How will I reach the goal?” For blogging, I set ten to twenty minutes to write so I can have two posts a week, maybe I write in the morning, maybe a little in the afternoon, but I stair step to the goal rather than take giant steps. Don’t be afraid to jog .5 miles for two or three months. Add 10% growth to your accomplishment the next month.

Pray About It Purpose in life is God-given and goals develop purpose in my life. It is reasonable to pray about the life I am living in God’s purposes.

Memorize Scripture This is something I stumbled upon to be honest. My wife and I decided to memorize together Psalms 91, not only did it erase fear but it placed our mind and spirit in a different frame of mind. Sharpen your mind by memorizing and meditating on the Word of God.

Celebrate Accomplishment When some goals have been accomplished I will go to a coffee shop, take my iPad and just savor the moment. Goals can’t be driven 24/7 – you must find time to think, relax and enjoy.

Comment: What system do you use to accomplish your goals?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Questions I Ask Before Making A Change

noGrowth and maturity are based on change. So change in a life growth plan is inevitable. To change is to step into tomorrow while holding on to foundational truths of yesteryear but letting go of bygone preferences. Since growth is incremental the decision to change must be the first step. Most of us agree to this point but how do we make personal changes, life changes and organizational changes for the best? The idea of change clashes with the change process. We know we should but how do we bring change to the table in an acceptable manner?

Maybe we should ask five heart searching questions, I ask myself:

Is The Change Necessary? Change for change sake is ridiculous. Change for revenge sake is evil. Change for the sake of finding something new is irrational. So I must ask myself  three intrinsic questions: Am I attempting to become obedient to the Word of God? Is it my desire to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit? Or, is the change a personal preference?

Is The Change Minor Or Major To Me? Before we ask the question on how it affects others I must ask myself how does this change me? What sacrifices will I need to make? Will it have long-term or short-term effects? How does it affect my family?

How Many People Will The Change Personally Effect? Change has a ripple effect. Will it affect just those around me, my congregation or my community – for the better or for the worse?

What Is The First Step I Must Take To Bring About This Change? Must I make some personal changes first? Is there something I need to begin personally before I make this change public? Am I willing to suffer the consequences?

Have I Prayed About It? No, I mean really prayed about? Haws God-given His stamp of approval? Do you feel the peace of God or do you wrestle with it? Have you asked for the counsel of godly men around you?

If bringing myself to the place of confidence is the first step then bringing others to the place of confidence must be the second step;  I ask others:

Who Is Affected By This Change? I may discover some resistance that I may not have anticipated had I just asked this simple question among my peers or those who circle around me. Not all change will attract all people but all change must attract God’s blessing. A circle around you is imperative to creating change around you.

Do You Understand What Must Die And What Must Live? Have those around you create a checklist of the essentials and the nonessential, list the positives and the negatives, list what lives and what dies? This exercise will cut off unmet expectations and hidden turns in the future.

Do You Understand Why We Are Making This Change? The big why Is more important than the what must change, who must change or when will we change? If the why is not clear then step back and wait.

Have We Prayed About It? Prayer together is the solidifier. Melting together means staying together. Prayer creates an atmosphere for change. If we haven’t prayed then plans, purpose and projects are skeletons of vision resulting in disappointments.

 

Comment: How do you prepare for change?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

When Do You Need A Mentor?

Picture1Now – Is the correct answer. Life is better when another set of eyes views the project. Life is better when another heart feels concern. Life is better when another mind has assisted in thinking out the process. Life is better when two carry the load.

A young couple found another couple in their church; this couple had been married about ten years more and had served God since their teens. The young couple heard laughable and insightful stories to encourage them through the bumps in their own marriage.

A pastor was navigating his church through difficult waters, stressful and tired, he and his wife called an older pastor and his wife over for dinner. The evening went quickly and after the older couple left, the pastor’s wife smiled at her husband, “I feel totally refreshed.”

An aspiring writer wanted to put something together but kept hitting rough spots; she called an experienced author and asked if they could meet over coffee. They did and continue to meet – inspiring each other.

A mentor may meet once but most likely will meet several times and often. A mentor is not a counselor but a coach. Not “I have all the answers” but “let’s find the answers.” A mentor doesn’t push but coaxed. A mentor is concerned and you should be honest but a mentor is not a garbage can to put your trash in.

Mentors Coach You To Go To The Next Level. If you wish to grow in a more rapid pace you will need a coach. A true mentor will encourage you to take risks with careful consideration, to spend money frugally, and to make decisions prayerfully.  A wise mentor will not push you to the next level but will persuade you to take the next step.

Mentors Address The Vision. Mentors will dig until your true vision comes to the surface. Mentors will prod until your true feelings are exposed. Mentors ask questions about your vision, your dream and your purpose in life.

Mentors Discover The Path. A mentor will encourage you to take the first step in the right direction. A classroom, a conference, a phone call, a book, may be the right step but a mentor will help you find what the next step is.

Mentors Will Pray With You. A real mentor knows prayer unveils truth, discovers direction, and fills the heart. Compassion is the unique quality of an effective mentor. You may not see them every week but when you do you know it is a God moment. Praying together helps the heart to find its purpose.

Comment: What do you feel is a great characteristic of a mentor? Do you have a mentor?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

When to Say NO

noThere is probably not a harder word to say with conviction than the word, “No!” For the motivated and vision driven leaders we have a tendency to lean on “more is better.” Busy is the key word in business – so we work harder, schedule tighter, press on more and push until exhausted. When we do say, “No,” it is usually with a bowed head and droopy eyes; as if we had just been informed someone had passed away. No is negative – is our perception but I would like to introduce you to the positive no; the positive way to say, “No” with conviction and tenacity. Should I be able to say, “No!” without guilt? We like to please people but by saying, “No” at the right time is to be able to live with a light in your eyes even though you have turned down a worthy request.

Here are several reasons why “NO” needs to be your next answer:

To Have The Freedom To Say “Yes” To The More Important. When you refuse the insignificant and choose the important, you have just made a mature and essential choice. You have freed up your time to dive headlong into your vision and to intensify your efforts towards your dream. Doing what someone else deems important keeps me from doing what I feel is important. Ask yourself this question, Does this lead me to my important goals I have set?

To Relieve Stress, Anxiety, Worry And Fear. More to do will bring on more stress – give yourself some breathing room. Over committed translates underachieved. Set your focus around the necessary instead of the weighty. Ask yourself this question, Does this contribute to my stress or my delight?

  • Schedule your day, week and month with opportunities not jobs.
  • Set goals with liberty and room to reset the goal when necessary
  • Scratch items that can be delegated or dropped without repercussions

To Have More Thinking Time The ability to think is having a vacation in the mind. Writers, authors, speakers, leaders and pastors need time to think – creativity flows into spontaneous delivery. A short trip to the coffee shop, a walk in the park, or time with the family can have an amazing flow of energy and excitement back into the heart of the artist. Sometimes simply changing location will broaden your horizon. Ask yourself this question, Does this add to my life or subtract from my time?

To Enjoy Life Schedule time off, relax and enjoy moments of inactivity. This is one of my greatest difficulties is doing nothing. I am not advocating laziness or slothfulness nor procrastination but rest, sleep, relaxation and a day off. While writing a particular chapter in my last book, Highpoints, I had come to a place where my mind just wasn’t as sharp. My words were scrambled more than my eggs were for breakfast. I put on my jogging outfit and went for a couple of miles, upon returning fresh words filled my mind and I finished the chapter with greater ease than before. Ask yourself this question, Does this bless me or mess with me?

To Follow My Dream When pursuing the ideas of others I forfeit the dreams in my heart. To accomplish what the vision within me I must say, “No!” to the distractions around me. Don’t feel guilty about saying, “No,” when you are fulfilling the dreams within you. Focus is the supreme key to productivity. Ask yourself this question, Does this take me into my dream?

Comment: When do you say, No”?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Are You Ready to be a Mentor?

1548_1548_5Do you feel a shift in your life? Are you ready to embark on an amazing and prolific life shining with inward joy?  Why not become a mentor? Is my life best invested as a mentor? Is my life more fulfilling when I influence someone for the best – to make a difference in their life – to dramatically and intentionally invest in growing and developing leaders?

School teachers, educators, pastors teach in whole with corporate bodies of learning yet the most fulfilling and most productive is when the lecture becomes connection, when the sermon becomes discipleship and the lesson becomes a life well lived. Being a mentor will bring untold results. If each person has purpose and a God-given plan – where do we start and dramatically important, will we finish well?

 

Mentor Moments

An interesting benefit of working at Google is the 20 percent time program, allowing its employees to use up to 20 percent of their work week to create/invent/research special projects. Google claims several ideas turned into projects as a result of the 20 percent time program.

John Maxwell introduced the Pareto Principle in his book, Developing the Leader Within You. The Pareto Principle states, “20% of your priorities will give you 80% of your production If you spend your time, energy, money and personnel on the top 20% of your priorities.” Of course, the first element of this process is to gather your priorities on a list, evaluate each item till you discover the top 20% then begin to put your time, energy and money into the top 20%.  John Maxwell added, 20% of our time produces 80% of the results.

Some Christians live on the 20% rule of giving; the tithe (10%) to church and pay yourself, by placing 10% into a savings account and living off the 80%.

 

What would happen if I invested 20% of my time into another

individual’s ministry, talents, abilities or gifts?

 

Life is better when we invest into another person’s life with time, energy and finances – to reenergize their spirit to become a writer, a speaker, an educator or a leader. A field sown in mentorship will yield an abundant and bountiful harvest. To be an influencer in the lives of others is the law of replication. We do more becuase we have more leverage.

 

Mentor Matters

A mentor must be wise in choosing the aspiring and growing student. Age, success or position is not a prerequisite but a passion for heights, a love for learning and a mind for more must be mandatory. Simply picking a once a week spot isn’t enough – we must be educational, spiritual and intentional. Every mentor must gauge his involvement, evaluate his progress and live for a reason. Sometimes mentoring is more of a volleyball game of communication – each of the participants adding to the volley of ideas. Not a brainstorming session as much as a heart to heart resource of new visions and dreams.

Discipleship and mentoring must include life lessons, heartfelt communication, insights and wisdom, people matters and leadership principles but this is not a conclusive list. To mentor one must first know the person being mentored and the subject of the mentoring. The WHO and the WHY must be answered immediately. A cookie cutter mentor cannot serve each individual correctly. We must carefully sow the correct seed in the right field.

 

Mentor Motives

Steadfastness  A mentor, above all, will be an example to steadiness. No awkward or quirky turns but consistent and concrete decisions. Mentors don’t bring their battles into the growth process. This is not an emotional relationship but a life lesson. There will be time for tears, time for transparency and time for “aha” moments but a life of character and Christ likeness becomes the best teacher.   

Significance  A mentor must be willing to impart his life, this is not a list of do’s and don’ts but a life well lived, bringing significance to the table, teaching and living brought together. For mentorship to move from one level to the next both mentor and student must grow. Selfishness is left behind; there is no room for it. The mentor pushes the learner out of comfort zones and into accomplishments.

Spirituality  Encouragement into a close relationship with God is the quest of both the mentor and the learner. Both must grow in God if they intend to grow in any other area. The mentor doesn’t push religion but exemplifies that “he walks with God.” Pride and subjection are not allowed in the process and counseling is not the purpose. Mentor both teaches and learns both ways. Honor is given and is reciprocal.  

Comment: There are a lot of things to be added to this list but what would you add to this list of being a mentor?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

 

When is Change Worth Fighting For?

Picture2It is inevitable that changes will come. For some change comes slow and for some change comes quickly without premonition. One thing is for certain, most change will come whether you are ready or not. Change is the one thing that can change our future and give us resolve from the past. Though we shouldn’t change for changes sake a rut is simply a grave with the ends kicked out. While pursuing life and the dynamics of it we must institute change as a systematic growth pattern. Without change there will seldom be growth.

Changes come from a long list of correctives:

Age

Circumstances

Prayer

Health Concerns

Events

People

Pain

Knowledge

Error in Judgment

 Change comes – some is good and some is bad. Change may be perceived to be good and turn out bad and at other times change may be perceived good and turn out bad. It is easy to decide what changes to make when the doctor spells out a “heart healthy diet” or exercise regimen. You know what you must do to stay alive and you are willing to change even if it is abrupt. But many major changes in life are much more difficult to ascertain.

“… people change only when they hurt enough that they have to, learn enough that they want to, or receive enough that they are able to.” – John Maxwell

How do I decide when a change is necessary?

When Something Or Someone Is Damaging Your Mental, Physical Or Spiritual Well Being, You Need To Change. Incompatibility is loosely interpreted but when you feel threatened, abused or in danger you may need to make an immediate change in your personal life or your job.

When Your Wise Counsel Knows You Need To Change. Your best friends and relatives know how to look out for you but sometimes can be a little misleading. Go to “wise counsel” and ask for direction or leadership. An extra set of eyes can open up a different dimension into your life.

When God Speaks You Need To Change. If we listen to God’s voice or hear a message that confronts an issue in our life – we need to change. Many times changing jobs, houses or cars complicates the problems rather than solves the problem. Quick sudden changes are often the incorrect change. Change must be carefully thought out. Prayer can open the eyes of the blind and most of the time; it is my eyes that need opening up.

When You Have Carefully Weighed All The Options You May Need To Change. Remember – there may be an option you may not have thought of. Take your time – look in all directions. It is more difficult to reverse your decision after a wrong decision has been made.

Secondly and maybe more importantly, when NOT to change:

Don’t Change When You Are Depressed. Depression clouds the thinking and often fogs the decision making process. Never make a decision in the dark – wait till the light shines on it.

Don’t Change When It Can Detrimentally Affect Everyone Around You. Correct change should benefit most parties – a win-win situation. Let me weigh in – some change will not benefit everyone around you but when a great number of people suffer because you made a wrong decision; maybe a “more thought out” change would have been more beneficial to you and those around you. Remember, we are not an island. Abrupt change can dissever relationships for life – think before a major change.

Don’t Change When You Are Still Undecided. Making a change is never so aggravating as making an unclear change and finding you are more dissatisfied in the end.

Comment: What would you add to this list of “change” benefits?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. Advice on this post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Four IPad tricks to use today!

imagesSo you may be getting a new IPad for Christmas but you aren’t for sure about the features to utilize or maybe, to discover, I picked up my IPad in March 2012 and use it everyday for pleasure and for business. You will want to load the Adobe Reader, Facebook, Flipboard, Twitter, Smart Office 2, Kindle reader and LinkedIn from the ITunes Store on your first day of ownership. These items are the basic tools I use nearly everyday.

Transferring Your Desktop Files I Use Dropbox for my backup storage of important files on my desktop. Once Dropbox is loaded on your IPad (again, go to the ITunes store and download the app), also, go to the Dropbox website (Dropbox.com) and download the desktop version. Copy and paste the files you want in Dropbox. Now, go to your IPad and click on the Dropbox app – there are your files ready to open, view, and read. (I am assuming your IPad has a WiFi connection).

Creating an App Find a website you like to visit often but there isn’t an app available? Simply go to the website in your Safari browser. Once you have located the Home page of the website then go to the top left of your browser, there will be a small box with an arrow proceeding to the right of the box. Click on it and it will bring up a Mail selection you can email the link to someone) or send the page to Twitter, Facebook or other selections. Go to Add to Home Screen (the App is illustrated for you), click it and it will add the App to your Home screen.

ICloud I personally like to backup my information on the cloud (a remote server) so I have went to the settings app, scrolled down till I found ICloud, selected Storage and Backup and made sure ICloud was turned on. On the previous page select the programs you wish to backup, use sparingly, you only receive 5.0 GB free (you can purchase more later if you choose). I definitely wanted my Mail, Contacts, Calendars, Find my IPad, Photo Stream and Documents and Date in the ON position. Lose your IPad or upgrade later and you will be able to go to the ICloud for your information.

One more trick, get a protective cover. A friend of mine put his IPad on the top of his car, he forgot about it, until his wife called later after she had driven off, the IPad had slid down the back of the car onto the pavement, however, upon recovery, nothing was broken. Get a cover, today!

Comment: What is an IPad trick you use regularly?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Change Your Marriage This Week

Picture1Sitting with seven men , some married 35 years, another over 12 years, another near 25 years, one guy only married for 2 and a half years. We were discussing ways to increase the “bond” between a husband and a wife. The answers were astounding. These guys were awesome as they planned how to show their wife, without a doubt, they were madly in love with her.

Smart husband #1 suggested spending quality time together; both had conflicting job schedules, so they had to configure date nights, family time and private time. This special time together became a priority in their marriage. Wether it was getting a babysitter while they went out to eat, took a walk together or had coffee together on breaks, they passionately planned their next time they would spend together.

Smart husband #2 suggested “courting” often. Courting is often used in southern states and simply implies dating with the attitude of creating a lifelong relationship, instead of a casual dating relationship. He and his wife frequently have “date nights” where they have a conversation, look into each other’s eyes, (with their cell phones off), and they express their feelings of love for each other.

Smart husband #3 offered “quick forgiveness.” Whenever there is a conflict or disagreement forgive quickly. Remember, he stated, “Love is the union of two good forgivers.” Marriage is not without its conflict but love is the ability to forgive the one you love quickly. Don’t go to bed mad. Get it settled so frustration doesn’t build up.

Smart husband #4 wisely commented he finds reading the Word of God and praying everyday, keeps him accountable to his wife. “God speaks to me about the kind of husband I need to be.” God helps me express my love to my wife and show her I love her. My relationship with God develops a strong bond between us.

Smart husband #5 after two and a half years of marriage I tell her often how much I love her. She loves to hear it. I say, “I Love You,” with my eyes and my heart.

Smart Husband #6 humbly admitted he started helping around the house, running a vacuum cleaner or wishing the dishes, without bragging about it. When we work together she knows it is because I love her.

Smart husband #7 finished with, I text her or call her often to let he know how much I am thinking of her throughout the day. She is foremost on my mind. She knows she is the queen of my heart because I keep in touch with her feelings.

Normal guys with smart ideas. why not put these into action and become part of the smart husband group?

Comment: What would you add to the list?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

Facebooks Changes to Make Today

Qq6L1haQrYrFacebook  should have been named, “New Face Look” with the multiple changes and upgrades made over the last year. Some have been incremental others detrimental and others, just plain “mental!” Before you throw in the towel and give up on Facebook remember it is a unique contact book for finding your friends and sending them a quick message or seeing the 20 millionth picture of their grandkids, (ok, I plead, “guilty”).

Very quickly, let’s make three basic changes to your Facebook to help you feel a little more secure, have a little more sanity and have a little more ease when using Facebook.

I am using my IPad and on the top left of the News Feed on Facebook are three short horizontal bars. Click on it and you will find a long list of Favorites, Pages, Friends, Groups, Apps, and a few Account choices. Go to Account Settings and click to open. A new page will open with a list containing General, Notifications, Privacy etc., go to Privacy. Now, you will make three important choices:

Control Privacy When You Post You have three selections to choose to who you wish to post to; Public, Friends or Custom. I chose Friends; only the friends I have accepted to my Facebook account will see what I post.

Timeline and Tagging Who can post on your timeline? Here you can choose who can read your Timeline and who can Post on your Timeline. The one selection I made here I believe is worth repeating is the third question down, Review posts friends tag you in on your timeline. I selected ON. I want to be able to select the pictures and tags before they are posted on my Timeline.

Blocked People and Apps Click on Manage blocking and a new page should appear. This is a permanent block that keeps hackers, spammers or “just plain rude” people from coming to your Facebook page.

Comment: Have you found this post helpful? Are there changes you have made to your Facebook account that you would like to share?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author