The Small Church Pastor and His Wife

A small church Pastor is most likely bi-vocational. That means he has two jobs – neither of which pays him enough to do without the other.
A small church Pastor likely feels time crunched with two jobs, ministry duties, visitation, sermon preparation, board meetings, church maintenance, denominational meetings, parsonage repairs, and personal devotion and prayer.
A small church Pastor is most likely financially strained as he leads the church in giving, expected to give to every child who is selling a candy bar at school and pays his denominational dues.
However, if all the above fall short there is one thing and one thing alone that rises to the top of the “you must do this one thing” scale. If you ever leave the church, this will be the one item you will take with you. Your wife is the most essential part of your ministry. Your wife is the one prized possession a small church pastor has above all else.
YOUR WIFE IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN. Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Respect and honor to your wife in public and in private will “obtain favor from the Lord.”
YOUR WIFE IS HALF YOUR MINISTRY. Eccleisates 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Many of the ministry duties and responsibilities are directed by your wife.
YOUR WIFE NEEDS YOU. She needs your time, she needs your ear and she needs your heart. Don’t be afraid to give her all three. Take the time, prime time, when it just the two of you, and invest in your relationship. I personally believe, a strong pastoral marriage helps build strong marriages in the church.
YOUR WIFE NEEDS YOUR PRAYERS. Pray for your wife daily. Pray for her physically, mentally and spiritually. She may take a phone call she didn’t need to answer. The snarky looks and penetrating stares are overwhelming. Keep praying for her and keep praying together.
YOUR WIFE NEEDS YOUR LOVE. Tell your wife you love her. Look her in the eye and let her know she still means the world to you. Remember why you married her and repeat it to her. Go on a date, it doesn’t have to be expensive but it does need to be personal and private. Invest in your marriage before you invest in the church.

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission of the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or professional advice.

 

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FATHERS YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES (SPECIAL JUNE EDITION) #3

A father has unbelievable ability to dramatically influence the next generation. If you search the Old Testament in the Bible the Father’s planned on a “generational transfer of faith,” in fact, a biblically repeated statement, “The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob,” shouts the value of the “generational transfer of faith.” Exo 3:4-6 And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I. And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground. Moreover he said, I am the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. And Moses hid his face; for he was afraid to look upon God.
God declares, “I am a God of succession,” God establishes early in the Bible, a “generational transfer of Faith.”
• There are those, like Moses, whose Fatherly image had made an incredible influence and persuasion on a young man, Joshua. Moses’s, at his last days, handed off a 2 million people congregation to his successor, Joshua.
• Evaluate David’s final days, he successfully hands down the kingdom and plans of building the temple, to his son, Solomon.
• Don’t forget the New Testament concept of a Paul to Timothy mentorship illustriously designed in First and Second Timothy.
• Acts 2:38-39 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. A perpetual and “next generation” promise of Spirit infilling and fullness.

Fathers can and will hand down their faith to their son’s (we will discuss daughters in a separate post) when they purposely and intentionally incorporate faith into their everyday life. Fathers who go to church on Sunday but don’t live the faith throughout the week lose their power of influence. Passing down God given personal principles and convictions brings highly effective results in the lives of their sons, when incorporated daily and intentionally.
A Father can provide a generational transfer of Faith by four simple but highly effective methods. Many fathers are already doing this with substantial results.
TIME – Prime, personal and private time with a son is the most important of all aspects of Fatherhood. Going with them to a church service or going with them to a youth camp or going with them to a ball game coupled with prime, personal and private time, results in visual and noticeable outcomes.
Look at the stories boys love; “Dad and I went fishing together, dad and I went on a trip, dad and I went to eat a burger.” The most important stories to your son begin with, “Dad and I.”
TEACHING – Instruction and class room settings are informational and instrumental in developing children but no greater impact can be accomplished in a son than the father who gives the right tools to mature him for spiritual, physical and mental progress. Matt Walsh preaches, “We ask for self-discipline and self-control from the boys while providing him with no tools to develop them.”
Teaching is not to tell them everything to do but to provide tools to show them how to do it. One tool you can give your son is “how to treat a woman.” Some 66% of college males admit their daily struggle is lust, yet, we provide our boys on little or no training on a pure mind, clear conscience or daily victory. Fathers should and must have an honest conversation about pornography, sexual maturity and scriptural “wall building.”
Deuteronomy 6:5-7 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Build A Wall Of Protection Around Your Son’s Heart
By Speaking The Word Of God Into His Heart And Life

TRYING – Proving a daily example is no doubt one of the most powerful lessons a son or daughter will ever learn. As Dr. James Dobson adequately states, “Boys are not born knowing how to be men. They have to learn that.” Fathers who TRY to be an example are tons better than the Father who never tries.
Indifference is expensive. Not trying is worse than trying and failing. A son will respect a father who admits his mistakes but will dishonor a father who ignores them.

Your WIN Doesn’t Depend On Your Perfection
As Much As It Depends On Your Honesty.

TRUST – The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago and the second best time to plant a tree is now. Building a son will take a lifetime. Daily lessons of trust in God will create a strong faith to pass onto a son. He will watch his Father more than he will listen to His Father. Trust is never more strongly seen than in a Father’s daily walk with God. When a son sees a father end the evening by reading his Bible, or how he handles critics, or how he honor’s his wife, there will be a foundation built for years to come.
Pray for your son but also, pray with your son. Prayer is the melting place for two hearts to come together. Build a faith in your children reflecting your own trust in God. You can’t make him but you can lead him. In regard to faith, show him what authentic is.

Father, you have what it takes.

 

Some information derived from:
TheFatherlessGeneration.wordpress.com, Fathers.com and FocusontheFamily.com

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission of the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or professional advice.

 

FATHERS YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES #2 (SPECIAL JUNE EDITION)

Fathers are often misjudged when it comes to motives, when in all actuality, a failed attempt at communication has been made. Most men have trouble communicating their feelings. Identifying their needs and expressing their emotions. Most Fathers are doers instead of instructors. Sadly, many times Father’s try to control instead of lead. Yet, a Father, who gives intentional time to his children is doing an amazing job of directing their lives.
Fathers who spend time with their daughter often will indirectly promote “how a man should treat a woman,” and personally influence their morality in exponential proportions. Daughters of single parents without a Father are:
• 53% more likely to marry as teenagers.
• 711% more likely to have children as a teenager.
• 164% more likely to have premarital sex and,
• 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

Fathers who spend time with their children often have a significant influence and are seeing astounding results. Compared to “absent father” homes:
• Children do better in school
• Healthier self- esteem and self-worth
• Social skills is much improved
• Emotional development is higher
• Moral norms are stronger
• Overall content and happiness is noticed

The overwhelming support of a Father involved in sports, education, church, and home results in a dramatically and enhanced childhood, adolescent and teenage years. Not a perfect Father but an involved Father makes the difference.
While manhood, masculinity and fathers, in general, are under attack there is a renewed resurgence and emphasis on the need for Father’s to be personally involved in their children’s life.
A list of “good ideas” may be needed, go fishing, play ball together, go on a vacation together, do a daddy daughter date, or attend a school function. One particular school has “DAD and DONUTS DAY” where children and their Dads have a donut together. But of all the ideas listed, there is one overweighing all the others, “LISTEN.” If you don’t listen to your teenager, they will find someone that will. The ability to lead must include the ability to listen. Whoever listens to your teenagers will be their leader. LISTEN to their stories, their dreams, their desires, their loves and their needs.

Secondly, and importantly, TEACH. Deuteronomy 6:5-7 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Simply, bring principles of life into everyday events. A ball game can be a platform for teaching about self control, teamwork or even anger. School can be a conversation piece on bullying, educational motivation and diversity. At night, read the Bible and pray together, bringing life long truths into the conversation. A hug and “I love you” is indispensable in the home.

Father, You Have What it Takes!

Some information derived from TheFatherlessGeneration.wordpress.com, Fathers.com and FocusontheFamily.com

 

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission of the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or professional advice.

 

 

FATHERS – YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES (SPECIAL JUNE EDITION)

The problem of fatherlessness is not new but it is dangerously increasing to an epidemic level. Pornography and sexual promiscuity has programmed young men into baby makers but little or no education on being a father. Boys as young as eight are being introduced to pornography through internet searches and phone apps.

When it comes to fatherlessness the statistics are staggering:
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Health).
85% of all children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Center for Disease Control).
According to the Texas Department of Corrections, a whopping 85% of youths in prison come from a fatherless home.

And that is just the beginning. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services said 71% of pregnant fathers were from a fatherless home.
These statistics tragically translate into 24 million homes with children are without their biological father. That’s one out of three homes in America.

When I have spoken to men’s groups across the country, including police departments, I have found most men feel powerless, worthless, incapable and further, feel they are not effective in the family. However, a dad who spends prime time with their children has shown an extreme benefit and amazing influence on the lives of their family.

When men gather they always ask three major questions:
• How can my family become financially secure?
• How can I make my wife happy?
• And, how can I be a good Father?
God brings life and healing to the home when a Father turns his heart towards his children. Malachi 4:6 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. The curse has been smitten: rapes, imprisonment, drugs, and suicides. But we can change the moral climate of our community by father’s turning their heart towards their children. I dream when there will no longer be a generation of children trying to live a balanced life without a father.

FATHER, YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!

Here are three things a father needs to know today.

THERE ARE NO PERFECT FATHERS – start where you are today. Be willing to admit to your child your mistakes, even to the point of asking for forgiveness for past failures. Admit you have not spent enough personal time with them. You can’t compare one child to another – they each have their separate personality and gifts, allow them to be themselves.

THERE A NO FATHERS WHO KNOW EVERYTHING – allow your children to make mistakes. Let your children know you are their greatest fan. Coach them in their particular gift. A father doesn’t have all the answers but is learning how to be a father while their children are growing up. Embrace their personality rather than resist it and try to change it – it will only pull them further away.

THERE ARE NO FATHERS WHO HAVEN’T FAILED – while my children were still young and I was pastoring a church with growing pressures upon my shoulders I angrily took it out on my children. They sensed my frustration and lack of understanding, then a horrible realization came to me, my children were getting on my nerves instead of being in my heart. I humbly confessed before God, it wasn’t my children had gotten increasingly worse but I had become increasingly frustrated with the ample stress of my ministry. I had failed.
I wrapped both children in my arms, looked them in the eyes and confessed my failure and my frustrations, I cried. They hugged me and forgave me. I hated that moment so much that I committed to God to not allow myself to get into that position again. I knelt and prayed, “God, help me to be a good father to my children.”
Fathers, you have what it takes. Now do it.

Some information derived from TheFatherlessGeneration.wordpress.com, Fathers.com and FocusontheFamily.com

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission of the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or professional advice.

 

The People of Israel Raising Children in a Bomb Shelter

Hvat* never wanted to live this day but in her mind, she has relived this day thousands of times. Waking in the darkness, hearing the sounds of exploding missiles, screams piercing the moment, and now, seeing the blood, too much blood.

IMG_2469Hvat* lives in Israel in a small village near the Gaza strip, raising a small family, “This is my home, I don’t want to move, I want to live here, this is my land and this is my people.”  She had mentioned that to leave would to give the terrorists a win,

Standing there with her, within two minutes of the Gaza Strip border, less than ½ mile, the air was tense. The sky was clear, the air was dry and two elementary aged boys were riding their bikes. It was an uneasy feeling. Just a few days before our arrival IDF (Israeli Defense Forces) found a tunnel laden with explosives, motorcycles and several Hamas terrorists.

Terrorists have sent as many as twelve laser guided missiles in one day, “No one ever forgets, it never goes away.” A missile struck a bus, where most of the school child had just unloaded the bus for home but the driver and one teenage boy weren’t so fortunate. Hvat* continues with tears, lots of tears even though that day, that grievous day, was two years ago. “No one ever forgets, it never goes away.”us day, was two years ago.

“No one ever forgets, it never goes away.”

IMG_2455

Hurt feelings turned to compassion, many of the people in Palestine and Gaza are victims of Hamas terrorism just as we are. Her eyes are full of fear, her voice quivering, “I just want this to stop, for all of it to go away.”

It was a warm day, just like many days in the Southwestern part of the country of Israel. Just a few short miles to Egypt’s burning sands. The school was in session, concrete barriers were in place to help deter the attack of missiles. A weather balloon with a heat sensing camera monitors the area without much consolation.

Each bomb shelter received the artistic paint providing a stark contrast of fear with a mixture of hope.

Children have been trained and retrained, so much it has become a habit for most.

Children have learned to run for the bomb shelter. Hvat* looks out the window for a moment, “You may have 6 seconds to respond, twelve seconds would be considered a blessing. When the siren blows – you run. Several had an app on their phone telling them, not the weather or the news but the alert code. “You decide what pair of shoes to wear based on the intensity of the alert – if it is a high alert you wear something you can run in.” Tearfully she continues, “We painted the bomb shelters because we wanted to make this a better place.”shelters because we wanted to make this a better place.”

IMG_2442
Bomb shelter near a playground

The paintings and the bomb shelters seemed to divide the consciousness, one of joy, the way life was meant to be and the other of desperation and fear. “You never know the next time terrorists may send a missile over, we are just two minutes away from the border. You really don’t have much time to get to the bomb shelter.” She tried to smile for the picture but it was brief.

Two children playing in the living room under a makeshift tent, their mother was too far from her children at the moment, unable to grab the children and run to safety in the 6-second warning. The missile hit in the nearby street, digging a crater hole, shrapnel flying through the air went through the wall of the house, striking the four-year-old boy. “When I got there he was covered in blood – her son was dead.”IMG_2456

Grieving mothers confess when you have multiple children you have to quietly and sincerely decide which child you will grab when the bomb siren goes off.

Michael’s* name is written as a memorable among a gripping list of others, upon the walls of concrete.

She softly cries again and those with us cried with her.

The hole in the wall of the house has been patched and the street repaired. The hot sun has faded the paint on each bomb shelter but the memories are as fresh as today.

Hvat* motioned with her hand, a gesture of despair, “Has anyone heard this story? Does anyone care?”

 

Yes, we have heard and yes, we care!

 

Have you hugged your child today? 

 

*This is a true story but the names were changed for security reasons and personal privacy.

**This is the first of a series of true life stories of the people of Israel

 

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission of the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal, counseling or professional advice.

 

HEALING FOR HURTING PEOPLE

If you have been in the ministry even a short time, you probably have discovered church, by its very nature, draws and attracts hurting people. Hurting people are described as:

 

  • WITHDRAWN – Hurting people have a tendency to withdraw from the crowd. Usually, find it difficult to be a team player.
  • HURT OTHERS – you have probably heard the phrase: hurting people hurt others. It is hard to kiss a porcupine – their inner pain repels and hurts others by their words and actions.
  • THINK IN TERMS OF HOW IT HURTS THEM – People who carry pain have tunnel vision – defining each moment in terms of how each situation affects them not in terms of how each situation affects others.
  • EXCUSE THEMSELVES – A common statement for a person filled with pain, “You don’t know what I’ve been through.” Or, “You don’t know what I’m dealing with.”
  • TRULY IN PAIN BECAUSE OF PAST OFFENCES – If You Are Still Angry Because of A Past Offence Then It May Be Time To Get Off The Fence. A pain filled person can point to each offense.
  • PUSH OTHERS AWAY – A pain filled person doesn’t want to be hurt again and often pushes others away from them. “I’d rather be alone than hurt by another person.”
  • SEEK OUT OTHER HURTING PEOPLE OR AN ANGRY CAUSE – Like attracts like and hurt people will gravitate to other hurt people.
  • THINK AUTHORITY FIGURES ARE AGAINST THEM OR FAVOR OTHERS – they may do their duty but reluctantly or grudgingly.
  • EMOTIONALLY DRIVEN NOT SPIRIT DRIVEN – “I’m having a bad day” may be their excuse as to why they are treating others around them disrespectfully.
  • OVERREACTIONARY – “You always get an overreaction in an area that has never been healed.” – Russel Hylton
  • WRESTLE WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AS THEIR FATHER – it is increasingly difficult to accept God’s love for themselves or for others.

THE HOLY SPIRIT IS THE ENCOURAGER, CONSOLER OF THE HEART

Healing and comfort are provided through the working of the Holy Spirit. Read the following verses carefully if you are carrying hurt, past offenses or unforgiveness in your heart.

John 14:15 -21 If ye love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray for the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.  At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him and will manifest myself to him.

 

RECEIVE HEALING IN YOUR HEART AND MIND

 

BELIEVE AND RECEIVE THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST God not only loves the world – He loves you. Accept God’s love in a heart cry to God. Know God was with you in your offenses but never intended for you to carry them. God wants to heal you from the pain and enable you to forgive others and forgive yourself. Look at this empowering scripture, Isaiah 53:4-5 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. This has been largely interpreted as healing for our physical bodies but read the verse again, “He hath borne our griefs.” Jesus carried your pain and hurt – you don’t need to carry it anymore.

 

CHANGE YOUR FOCUS TO JESUS AND NOT OF OTHERS “First Focus” is to magnify Jesus and maximize relationships. FIRST FOCUS enables you to look at Christ hanging on the cross carrying our sin, our pain, our hurt and focus on His love, His forgiveness, and His strength. By watching other’s responses we merely build up our case, we strengthen the stronghold of personal offenses. By looking to Jesus, we recognize He is able to be the “author and finisher of our faith.”

 

SEEK FOR HUMILITY The door to God’s favor is found in humility. You will never reach the top by putting others down. Proverbs 22:4 By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honor, and life. Yes, you have been hurt. Yes, you have been offended. Yes, you were treated wrong. Humbly take it all to Jesus and humbly seek His presence in your everyday life. Humble yourself as a child of God, not because of your offenses but because of God’s enabling ability to carry you.

 

COMMIT TO RIGHT ACTIONS AND DELETE REACTIONS Begin a mental practice of actions when confronted with a variety of possible scenarios where you possibly could see yourself being hurt again. “I will honor and respect those around me despite how they use me, speak to me or hurt me.” You are responsible for your actions but you are not responsible for other’s reactions.

 

ALLOW JESUS TO RELEASE YOU FROM THE OFFENDER’S

POWER TO CONTROL YOUR REACTIONS.

 

PRAY IN THE HOLY SPIRIT Pray through to a breakthrough. Jesus heals and in His presence, there is a refreshing wave of His freedom. Find a quiet place and stay in His presence until you know within your heart and mind you have been freed and the chains have fallen off. Your deliverance is key to your spiritual health. Stephen, a New Testament deacon was stoned for his beliefs. As the rocks hit hard across his head and body, he shouted for all to hear, “Lord, lay not this sin against them.” When he died, witnesses around him saw his face as the countenance of an angel. God can change your countenance in the face of your fiercest opposition.

 

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission of the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal, counseling or professional advice.

 

WHAT IS A FACEBOOK FAST?

“Every time I scroll through Facebook, I see an acquaintance bragging about their dynamic spiritual life, perfectly obedient children, and vibrant career. I want that for my life, but I seriously don’t know where they find the time.” (echurch quote)
Facebook has become the idol of many. Facebook is the connection tool from February 4, 2004, created by two Harvard University students to keep the classmates in touch with profiles, posts and pictures. Now some 2 billion people use Facebook, some checking Facebook multiple times per day. Mobile FB has made it easy for users to check their status or their friend’s status many times throughout the day sometimes creating an addiction to “likes” and “shares”.

The problem is, while we connect with others we have found ourselves drowning in a pool of information, an addiction to “being in the loop” and a host of other philosophical dilemmas. Facebook addiction is common and there is even a Facebook Addiction Test online. (Now I know you are secretly going to see how you score on it – aren’t you?).
Maybe it is time for a Facebook fast. Occasionally I will read someone post, “I’m going to be off Facebook for a while.” Or, another will dramatically comment, “I can’t take the drama anymore – getting off FB.”

A Facebook fast is when a time is set aside away from Facebook for vacation, renwed focus or a fresh mental picture of life. Maybe it is time to take a Facebook Fast, let’s look at the next few reasons why a person would want to take a season of time to withdraw from Facebook.

FOCUS ON INVESTING IN INSPIRATION From Facebook to face look. Honestly, we could spend more time in prayer, Bible reading, and reflection, if we prayed to the proportionate amount of time we have been spending on FB we could settle into  peaceful and fulfilling spiritual refreshment.

CREATE REAL RELATIONSHIPS Instead of having platonic relationships via the computer, step into the real world and strengthen a relationship that is waning or fractured. Invite someone to have a cup of coffee or get together with another couple for lunch.

One of the major, hidden mental and emotional dangers of FB is to compare my life with my FB friends. Examine the list below and evaluate how many times we have compared ourselves to someone’s post.

WOW! Look where they went on vacation
My friend’s marriage is more romantic than mine
There children are so much better behaved
They have the dream life – my life is so ordinary
My friends just got a new car – we are still driving a “Junker”
How come they get to do that?
They must have a lot of money

“LIKES” AND “SHARES” DON”T DETERMINE YOUR SELF VALUE If we get minimal “likes” we have a bad day but if we get elevated “likes” it changes our mood and our emotions. There are people who really care for you but don’t express it openly on FB. Value is determined by who you are not a fabricated or perceived lifestyle on FB.

DEPRESSION ABATED Deep concern over our Facebook image can bring about bouts of depression. Finding ourselves with “nothing exciting to post” can bring us to a state of withdraw and intense loneliness. Connecting digitally while avoiding personal encounters can be damaging in our psychological and/or physical health. Taking a break and spending quality time with our family, friends or relatives can create healing bonds and emotional outlets. Having a week or month of not comparing weight, looks, opportunities, children, homes and other subjects could lead to a happier and more satisfying life.

FOCUS ON IMPORTANT ISSUES Is it just me or have you noticed how magnetized a person is to their phone, tablet or laptop while missing moments with their spouse, their children, their friends or other acquaintances? Several guests are having an important conversation and they are sitting in a corner sharing a comical post on FB. A FB fast may bring a renewed focus on what is important. Certainly we will have more time to devote to a hobby, family or other activities.

Let’s take a FB Break or a FB fast and give our emotions, mind and family a break. (Even though I’ll be participating in a FB Fast several posts may appear on FB through a Twitter post or with Buffer).Do you think a FB would help your family? What’s your thoughts about a FB Break?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal, counselling or professional advice.

The Small Church Pastor

It is interesting to note 60% of America’s churches run 60 or less but regardless of the size we can all do better to encourage, support, pray for and be a friend to the small church pastor.
This is a non-comprehensive list of items you may or may not find true of a small church pastor

1. He gets a late night call form a member who found a hymn book had been colored with a Crayola and he thinks he knows who did it.
2. Somebody was off-key Sunday during the song service and there was a call Monday morning, “Who is going to do something about it?” (Meaning the pastor is expected to do something about it).
3. The testimony service took a turn Sunday night when Sis Smith started “testifying” about her “old man’s” colonoscopy results.
4. The trash from last month’s social wasn’t taken out and a deacon meeting was called to see who is responsible.
5. Door to door visitation was poorly attended with one teenager, an older women and one child.
6. The Sunday School offering was larger than the tithe offering. Disgruntled members were the cause.
7. The sermon went over seven minutes according to the head deacon.
8. The same busy body who spread something about Sis Smith has now sided with Sis Smith against the Pastor’s wife.
9. A ninety-two year old faithful member fell asleep again during the Sunday morning message.
10. A wasp flew in the back door and caused more excitement than the song service.

Hopefully you had a good laugh at this exaggerated post but truthfully the small church pastor has a tremendous load and can be applauded for many services to the church and community. Here is a non-comprehensive list of items you may or may not find true of a small church pastor.

1. Often the Pastor and his wife are the only ones who show up for the Monday night prayer meeting.
2. If the special speaker is to receive a decent offering for the Sunday Morning message the Pastor and his wife are usually the ones who gave sacrificially.
3. The small church pastor often has to put gas on his credit card so he can go to hospital to visit an ailing church member.
4. The small church pastor and his wife are not applauded enough and criticized too much.
5. The small church pastor is usually the one inviting new people to the church.
6. The small church pastor is tired, stays up late, works a job, visits the sick and organizes events and spends Saturdays mowing the church yard.
7. The small church pastor is underpaid but he is expected to drive a nice car that represents the church well.
8. The small church Pastor’s children are often expected to live exemplary lives – no mistakes allowed
9. The small church pastor’s education, books and seminars are usually at his own expense.
10. The small church pastor’s vision is waning because only a few catch the vision.

Merely knowing the problem but not doing something about the problem will only allow the problem to get worse. Here is a short list of ideas to encourage our small church pastors – start today

1. Slip the small church pastor some money for dinner at a nice restaurant
2. Give the pastor’s wife some money to go shopping with
3. Evaluate his salary and considering a substantial raise
4. Take notes of the pastor’s sermon
5. Offer to mow the yard while the pastor and his family are away at a conference or vacation
6. Offer to babysit the pastor’s children so he and his wife can go out on a date
7. Pray for them daily
8. Stomp out gossip
9. Be a volunteer
10. Encourage your pastor with complimentary words

There are many things we can add to the list – what do you think?

 

The Ephesians Six Husband

prayerSome friends of ours celebrated their Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary recently. Friends, family and acquaintances gathered to celebrate their lifelong commitment to each other. If you were to ask her how the blushing bride did it, she would gladly reply, “I prayed for my husband every day.”

Of all the qualities of my wife, I am most appreciative of my wife’s one most important task, she prays for me.  She daily prays for me. Not only have I felt her prayers but I have seen the answer to her prayers frequently. My wife has a unique prayer pattern, she prays for me to become an Ephesians Six Man. She takes each verse and prays every aspect into my life. It is interesting to note the Armor of God follows the discourse on marriage; it isn’t difficult to believe it is intentional.

Ephesians 6:13-18  Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

She visualizes placing the armor of God upon me each day. She prays the following according to Ephesians 6:

Armor “God will strengthen my husband to be able to stand against adversity and stand firm in the face of opposition.”

Loins Girded “God will always reveal truth to my husband’s heart and expose fads, false prophets, and foolish tales.”

Breastplate “God will cloth my husband in righteousness and he will live a pure and holy life.”

Feet “His light will shine and my husband will influence many for Jesus Christ.”

Shield “God will enable my husband to resist temptation. Pornography, seducers and illicit women will not appeal to him in any manner.”

Helmet “My husband’s mind will be open to the voice of God and he will be protected from wrong.”

Sword of the Spirit “The Word of God will grow in His life, be evident in his steps and be the love of his life.”

Prayer “Prayer will be my husband’s foremost desire and he will find sweet and precious fellowship in the presence of the Lord.”

Comment: How do you pray for your husband each day? What do you think is the most effective way to pray for your husband?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Raising Our Children to Be Spiritual Champions

Picture1Holding a newborn has always been a challenge, they are so fragile, but holding my newborn shook me to the very core. Even though that sacred moment occurred several years ago the imagery still captures my hearts, A father holding his own baby for the first time and thinking, “Now what?”

My children are grown and raising their own family but I remembering asking, “Now what?” on their first day of school, their teenage years, the moment they brought home someone they “had their eye on.” Contemplating my role as a father has been questioned, oh, not by others, but over and over in my own mind. I read books, I watched how other father’s did it and I even prayed about it, “Dear God, make me a good father.”

Raising children has never been easy and pointing fingers at other’s mistakes in our own self-righteous stance only sets us up for possible failure.

Several things are for sure about parenting:

  • Being a parent is not easy
  • You will make mistakes
  • When your children grow up, they will make their own mistakes.
  • We need God’s help

However, culture in its demoralized state unfortunately has been a chokepoint in the arena of child rearing. Building spiritually aware children and youth takes initiative, action and consistency. Perfectionism isn’t required but daily character reinforcement is required. What we do must be done intentionally and habitually.

Here are Six Habits in Raising Our Children as Spiritual Champions:

Pray Daily With Your Children – nothing, I repeat nothing, has the power to make your child a spiritual champion as prayer does. Praying in the morning with your children, before they leave for school, helps place the right spirit around them. Close the day with prayer and prayer requests, praying one for another.

Ask Questions – have moments of conversation and interaction with your children each day. Inquisitive and investigation are miles apart. Find out what is important to them. Talk about the hard things – friends, sex, dirty words, sexting, and pornography, coupled with God’s biblical design for a holy body, mind, spirit and life.

Involve Yourself In Their Life – What do they like to do? Can their friends come over your house for a pizza party? Take them, don’t just send them, to church camps, outings, and sport events, including hunting, camping and fishing.

Go On Word Adventures Together – Study a subject, theme or passage of scripture together. Make the Word of God exciting to your children. Welcome missionaries and other godly figures into your home. Share God’s Word with your children regularly when you camp together, go on a trip and regularly at night before bedtime.

Cleanse Your Home – Letting something get in their minds through illicit TV programs, vulgar music or movies may take months to root out. Make sure the internet is guarded and your children are warned of predators. Teach your children modesty and self-respect.

Love Them Unconditionally – tell them you love them, frequently and meaningfully. Go throughout the day with a positive word and a hug. Praise them for making a wise choice and doing the right thing.

 

Comment: What advice do you give to parents wanting to raise spiritual champions in their home.

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.