Marry Someone You Like NOT Just Someone You Love

coupleThe crazy thing about love is it feels just right. That is until two kids later, a messy house, an overworked husband and a bad hair day. Feelings change and the subject of love is being defined in a myriad of make believe scenarios until it has become hard to really recognize it. If you follow the movie trail you simply run into someone in the rain, he covers you with his umbrella, you fall in love and magically you love each other until a major breakup. Have you ever noticed how two happily married people can become two unhappy, angry, bitter and divorced people? We could define “love” but the false images of exploding emotions and raging hormones are embedded in the minds of many youth and much easier for them to understand. But love is too passing for many, no concrete but fluid. There must be a better way to describe what real love looks like – so, here it is:

Marry someone you like NOT someone you love. Since emotions lie and feelings change, ask yourself this question, do I really like them? The sage advice of Amos still rings true, Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

HONEST? Are they transparent? Are they hiding something? Do you feel uneasy around them? Is holding secrets their big game plan? Honesty between a couple is real love and if you don’t like them holding back pertinent information then how will it be a few years into marriage?

TRUST? This is different. Would you trust him with your sister? Would you trust her with another guy? Do you trust them with money? Small areas of mistrust often grow into large areas of mistrust. Do you like the way he or she is when you are not around?

ANGRY? What ticks them off? Do they get angry easily? Have you seen levels of impatience that you don’t like? Are they calm, cool and collected or angry, anxious and agitated? Will this explosive character follow you into marriage? Give them time to change without a long term commitment and be sure and marry someone you like.

CARE? How do they treat others? Do they show concern for the hurting? Are they considerate? Is he a gentleman? Are they selfish, proud or cruel? He may look like a hunk now but how will he treat you when you are sick? She may be beautiful on the outside but is she hospitable, loving and caring?

PRAY? Are they leaning in towards God or withdrawing from God? Do you pray together? Are dates a “touchy, feely” date or an opportunity to find out more about each other’s spiritual growth and stamina? Do you know what her convictions are? Do you know what he believes?

Find out if you like the guy or girl you’re with before you fall in love.

 

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Advertisements

Raising Our Children to Be Spiritual Champions

Picture1Holding a newborn has always been a challenge, they are so fragile, but holding my newborn shook me to the very core. Even though that sacred moment occurred several years ago the imagery still captures my hearts, A father holding his own baby for the first time and thinking, “Now what?”

My children are grown and raising their own family but I remembering asking, “Now what?” on their first day of school, their teenage years, the moment they brought home someone they “had their eye on.” Contemplating my role as a father has been questioned, oh, not by others, but over and over in my own mind. I read books, I watched how other father’s did it and I even prayed about it, “Dear God, make me a good father.”

Raising children has never been easy and pointing fingers at other’s mistakes in our own self-righteous stance only sets us up for possible failure.

Several things are for sure about parenting:

  • Being a parent is not easy
  • You will make mistakes
  • When your children grow up, they will make their own mistakes.
  • We need God’s help

However, culture in its demoralized state unfortunately has been a chokepoint in the arena of child rearing. Building spiritually aware children and youth takes initiative, action and consistency. Perfectionism isn’t required but daily character reinforcement is required. What we do must be done intentionally and habitually.

Here are Six Habits in Raising Our Children as Spiritual Champions:

Pray Daily With Your Children – nothing, I repeat nothing, has the power to make your child a spiritual champion as prayer does. Praying in the morning with your children, before they leave for school, helps place the right spirit around them. Close the day with prayer and prayer requests, praying one for another.

Ask Questions – have moments of conversation and interaction with your children each day. Inquisitive and investigation are miles apart. Find out what is important to them. Talk about the hard things – friends, sex, dirty words, sexting, and pornography, coupled with God’s biblical design for a holy body, mind, spirit and life.

Involve Yourself In Their Life – What do they like to do? Can their friends come over your house for a pizza party? Take them, don’t just send them, to church camps, outings, and sport events, including hunting, camping and fishing.

Go On Word Adventures Together – Study a subject, theme or passage of scripture together. Make the Word of God exciting to your children. Welcome missionaries and other godly figures into your home. Share God’s Word with your children regularly when you camp together, go on a trip and regularly at night before bedtime.

Cleanse Your Home – Letting something get in their minds through illicit TV programs, vulgar music or movies may take months to root out. Make sure the internet is guarded and your children are warned of predators. Teach your children modesty and self-respect.

Love Them Unconditionally – tell them you love them, frequently and meaningfully. Go throughout the day with a positive word and a hug. Praise them for making a wise choice and doing the right thing.

 

Comment: What advice do you give to parents wanting to raise spiritual champions in their home.

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Four Things A Husband Needs to Know About His Wife

11lAfter nearly 36 years of studying my wife I can say with a hearty proclamation, “There is yet so much to learn.” My wife, along with other women in the world, is intriguingly and meticulously created with unique features defining her as woman. No wonder Adam, when wakened from a deep sleep, cried out, “WHOA! MAN!” – Thus, woman.
There is so much more to learn yet there are a few explicit details that emerge fitting the generalities of women. This isn’t a blueprint – it is merely one man’s observation of God’s female creation. Though this is written for men’s information; I know there are women reading this who will print it, post it and may actually hang it on the mirror for their husband to read, and read and re-read.

She is Unique – She Needs Your Love

Perhaps the Bible explains this the best way. She is the weaker vessel but not like you think. As far as strength – she may beat you in arm wrestling. As far as board games – she may skunk you. As far as putt-putt she may make you look bad. But the weaker vessel doesn’t mean weak in the sense of lack but a better interpretation may be fragile vase. As a fragile vase she is uniquely created, with detail. Study her and you will find a unique design, precious detail and amazing quality. She has value, she is a treasure, and she is to be honored, just as you would an heirloom, an expensive, a fragile vase. Admire her, lift her up and respect her and you will discover the hidden value of the women you call wife.
Take Home Point – Love her intentionally

She is Communicative – She Needs You to Listen
Hands down women love to talk, think out loud and communicate their feelings. Maybe men need to open up a bit but until then. When she speaks she needs her husband to listen, listen with his ears and his eyes. Really listen to her thoughts not just her words. You may not understand where she is coming from or why she is saying what she is saying but listen. Listen with your heart, be involved, don’t try to fix it – just try to be understanding. She may need a hug more than your reply.
Take Home Point – Listen intentionally

She has Insight – She Needs Your Understanding
Take the time to delve into the multifaceted mind of your wife as she looks with her eyes, thinks with her mind, feels with her heart and is sensitive to your touch. This is a women’s insight. She feels “something.” She knows people. She reads between the lines. And, she knows you; that’s the scary part. In fact, I move – she reads me. Ouch! As a husband you may not understand her insight but it is not as important as her wanting to know you are trying to understand her feelings and insights.
Take Home Point – Learn intentionally

She Has Her Moments – She Needs Your Faithfulness
She may question your love one day. She wants to know do I look good in this? – not for others but for you. She may ask you if she looks fat? – not for others but for you. She may ask do you like my hair? – not for others but for you. She wants to know you love her for who she is and you are committed till death do us part. She may be crabby, complaining, critical and even nagging but she still loves you and wants you to be totally committed to love her forever. She knows she has her moments – she knows you do to but she wants to be secure on knowing you will stand by her, hold her hand in public and be her man for the rest of your lives.
Take Home Point – Live faithfully

Comment: What do you know about your wife – how do you let her know you honor her?
 Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

Four Things a Wife Needs to Know About Her Husband

If you hcoupleave ever questioned your husband’s love, asked him why he wasn’t talking to you, seemed preoccupied or was acting distant you have just entered into manworld. Manworld is reserved, particular and unique. Walk into manworld with me for a few minutes and understand your man.

He Really Does Care.  Husbands Don’t Know How to Say it.

Your husband may be a communicator, speaker, author and move people with his words, comments and posts but when he comes into the arms of his loving wife his mind turns to jello, his spirit melts and his loses his vocabulary. He wants to say I love you a thousand times but it doesn’t sound right. He tries to be romantic but fails, he tries to be interesting and attractive only to trip over his tongue as he endeavors to impress you. He wishes to give you a castle and a prince but settles for a suburban home on a peasant pay scale.

Take Home Point: Even though he is trying to say he cares and jumbles his words – listen to his heart.

 

Your Husband Is Not a Woman. He Shouldn’t Act Like One Either.

Men want to be warriors. A Superman who tries to fix all your problems in life even though all you wanted was a hug. Woman hug – men try to fix it. Women talk out their problems and men sit and think out their problems. Women feel their way through while men try to analyze their way through. Women meet in groups and talk about their problems but men don’t want to talk about it. Ask a man how he feels and he will say, “I’m doing fine,” when the world is falling around him. Ask a woman how she feels and if you are her friend, she will wipe a tear and tell you.

Take Home Point Compliment your husband for the man he is.

 

Husbands Have Feelings. They Don’t Show Their Feelings Much.

Men cry inside. They carry their gripes, complaints, heartaches and disappointments on the inside then explode into a torrent of emotion. No, not all men explode into a raging temper, but sometimes in prayer, sometimes in nonstop paragraphs and at other times they let it out in the exercise room. Men may not show their feelings much but they have feelings. Men have feelings that guard their ego, feelings that are much compressed to protect their image and feelings that are deep.

Take Home Point Be patient and tell your husband you are there when he is ready to express his feelings.

 

Your Husband Loves You. His Expressions of Love are Different than What You Expect.

Just accept it. Believe it! And Know It! He loves you. Be sweet and he won’t be able to resist you. A wife who adores her husband will find a husband who loves in return. He isn’t perfect. He isn’t the richest, best or most successful but he is in love with you. He may need to practice his words, his thoughts and his actions but he is in love with you.

Take Home Point Look into his eyes and tell how much you love him and watch what happens.

 

Comment: What do you know about your husband – how do you let him know you understand him?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

The Sixth Swing

Picture2I have asked a guest blogger, Niki, to write today. More information about Niki is at the end of the article

 The sun was finally shining again after several days of wintry bliss.  A gentle breeze was blowing just enough to make one entertain the idea of kite flying and the hint of spring brushed the air.  The playground was filled with smiling children grateful at last for a chance to be outdoors. Laughter saturated the air with a happy melody promising that winter soon would give way to sunnier days.

Her eyes met mine and a smile quickly spread across her face when she recognized me.  Her hand shot up in the air and back down again as if she became embarrassed midway through her greeting.   She darted around the slide out of sight and I began explaining to my daughters who the little girl was.

Several times she walked briskly in front of our family jabbering with a friend about the last time we had seen each other.  Then she would run to the woman who had brought her to the park.  I presumed she was telling her about us because of the vigorous pointing in our direction.

Sometime later as we were swinging and Daddy was giving “monster pushes” to our five kids, I noticed she occupied the sixth swing.  The girlish chatter was gone along with the giggles and grins I’d seen from her moments before.  She sat motionless in the swing, her small hand clutching the chain and her cheek resting against her knuckles.   She seemed to stare at nothing in particular though I caught her stealing frequent glances at our family.  She was momentarily oblivious to her friend’s pleas to join her on the slide again.

My heart broke as I watched her and replayed what I knew of her tragic story in my mind.  She had two sisters; her mommy and daddy were no longer married to each other; her daddy’s new girlfriend was the one who had brought her to the park; and her friend was the new girlfriend’s daughter.

Watching her sit motionless on the swing, I imagined her looking at our family and wishing she could have what we have.  A year ago, she did.  Now her little world was turned upside down and broken, and she was left to pick up the pieces and to try to make sense of it all.

Tears filled my eyes as I realized she had joined the ranks of so many other little boys and girls of our world today whose lives and homes were broken.  For some, the selfish effects of divorce have become common place, but never to those who suffer from its reality.

Once the infection of selfishness becomes obvious, changing one’s behavior is difficult, almost impossible.  The cure requires a heart transplant strengthened by daily Bible reading and prayer time to counteract the symptoms.

It has been said that marriage problems are simply “me” problems.  If I could learn how to get “me” out of the way, I could have a successful, thriving marriage; and therefore, raise healthy, thriving children.

Is my marriage immune to the disease of selfishness? Have I always been perfectly unselfish?  Don’t let me mislead you.  My husband and I have had our fair amount of struggles, often stemming from selfishness.  But for the grace of God, it would be my own little girl sitting idly in that swing wishing she wasn’t a statistic, inwardly longing for a “perfect” family. 

No family is perfect; there are no easy marriages.  Every couple must make a decision to love unconditionally– a love that is not subject to one condition or any condition.

Unfaithfulness, harmful addictions, and even “falling out of love” are symptoms of the condition of marriages and the raging disease of selfishness.  Sadly, selfishness has affected all mankind which is evidenced by the number of broken homes and failed marriages. 

The lives of children are impacted negatively by Mommy and Daddy’s decision to divorce simply because it’s too hard to learn how to live together and love each other unselfishly.  Physically, the child’s heart races and their stomachs sicken when they hear Mommy and Daddy fighting for their own selfish rights.  They wonder what they did to cause this or if they could be good enough to keep it from happening.  The enemy seizes the opportunity to ruin another soul because the parents think they are entitled to fulfilling their own selfish desires.

What can be done to keep the disease of selfishness from infecting our marriages and keep our little ones from being left alone on a swing longing to have a family life that only their parents working together through Jesus Christ can give? 

The antidote for the disease of selfishness is found in Philippians 2:3-4 where we are told to count others more significant than ourselves and to look to the interests of others.  Another antidote, found in Galatians 5:26 cautions that we should not become conceited, provoking or envying one another.   More importantly, we can live I Corinthians 13:4-6: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. This will ensure that we not only keep our little ones from the sorrow of a broken family, we can provide a thriving one for them!

I challenge you to immediately take the first steps in relieving the symptoms of selfishness in your life.  Don’t wait for your spouse to start the process.  Be the change in your marriage today!  Do what it takes to ensure that your child never occupies the sixth swing.

                 Picture1                               

Niki enjoys homeschooling her five children, homemaking, sewing, and creating inspirational art for the home. She has been married for twenty years to her best friend, Steve. They have two precious blessings resting in the arms of Jesus. Their family has enjoyed working together in children’s ministry since 1992 and Niki is currently working towards getting her first children’s book published. She is the blog author of For Journey’s Sake and can also be found on face book writing about her passion to mentor and encourage women and girls on their journey to becoming Proverbs 31 virtuous women.

A Miracle in Your Marriage

Can we expect a miracle in our marriage; when frustrations, failures and fears have a tendency to creep up in what we thought was a near perfect romance? When love spirals down and tensions spews up in tirades of anger? Can I expect the best when all I am seeing is the worse?

I think it is interesting to note the first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding. I think it is not a coincidence but determined to prove a point.

First, to declare Jesus is as welcome in the casual atmosphere of life as He is in the stately worship of a Sunday service. We find Jesus in a stable, at the seashore with fishermen, at dinner with a tax collector, walking through a vineyard, sitting on a mountainside and visiting in people’s homes. Jesus feels at home in our home if you simply welcome Him into your home.

Secondly, Jesus was at the wedding to exhibit His miracle-working power. Jesus worked a miracle at a wedding and He is still working miracles in marriages today. If Jesus can turn water into wine at a wedding then He can turn friction into love, anger into respect and separation into togetherness. Marriage is a trinity including husband, wife and Jesus; without Jesus, your marriage is incomplete. But miracles still happen in marriages. A couple who had been separated by bitter and hateful words is making a go of it again. A couple’s heated argument was changed into trust and honor. Yes, Jesus can still work a miracle in your marriage.

Thirdly, the story reveals Jesus asked for vessels of water so He could change them to wine. God changes circumstances but mostly, changes people. Bring yourself into the arms of Jesus and experience a Divine change today.

Sound like a fairy tale? Here are some practical steps to marriage miracles:

Be thankful True gratitude can open the hardest of hearts. Instead of trying to change each other be thankful for those virtues that brought you together in the first place. Your “first love” was based on attraction – dig those up from your hidden memory and be outspoken in your gratitude for each of these. Express your thanks be writing a note, a phone call in the middle of a busy afternoon, or at dinner time.

Be prayerful Prayer is the key to every marriage. Pray for your wife/husband for extra strength and love. Pray for yourself that you would become the kind of husband/wife God would be pleased with. Prayer will soften your heart and your spouse.

Be kind Kindness can get more do through one single act than a million complaints. No greater attribute in marriage can get more done. It may take time but its results are astounding. Don’t give to get and don’t expect kindness in return, just make it your common virtue.

Be respectful Men marry for respect, honor and regard – to compliment a man is like adding a deposit to your savings account, it will build with interest. Women marry for love and to support her with a sense of security and one to one attention will build a lifelong marriage.

Be real Dishonesty breaks the strongest marriage. Real relationships are built on trust – once broken, it make takes months or years to repair. Cover ups and hidden deceit break the back bone of love. Be honest, transparent and humble and watch miracles happen in your marriage.

Comment: What is another change you can invoke into your marriage?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author

A Moral Fence

“To death do us part” needs a security fence. Men and woman who fail in their marriage usually disregard the moral fence chosen to be placed around the marriage. For marriage to be good there must be a moral fence of protection keeping the husband and wife within the blessed boundary of the marriage covenant. This is not as much confinement as it is protection. Our joy is protected. Our security is protected. Our health is protected. Our finances are protected. Our future is protected.

Do you know what a moral failure looks like? While eating dinner with a “fallen brother” he confessed, “I can’t sing, I can’t pray, I have a hard time looking my wife in the eyes, and you always wonder what it would have been if it had never happened.” Even if you get your marriage back it takes long time to build trust and the memory doesn’t fade away quickly.

Moral fences, after my wife and I have celebrated 35 years of marriage, include:

Social media checkups My wife checks my Facebook, Blog, texts on my phone, and emails. Some may think this is overkill or too much control but I see it as protection; a fence to keep me from wandering off base.

Communication We sit down frequently and talk about what is on our mind, whether with a cup of coffee in the morning or an evening dinner but we communicate about our day and its activities.

The Holy Spirit Of all the accountability given to man there is none like the power of the Holy Spirit to keep you on a check and balances system. This inward prodding of the Holy Spirit is invaluable for those who choose to keep morally correct.

Accountability Finding a men’s group or a pastor to talk to has been a vital part of the “moral fence.” Having men who understand the frustrations and turn ons can help move you past the temptation and on to victory.

Common Sense Keeping your distance and not being left alone with the opposite sex is just common sense. Not complimenting someone’s physical appearance and inappropriate touching is a fast train out-of-town.

Staying close Date your wife and tell her you love her every day. Kiss her when she leaves the house. Compliment her in public and let others know of your affection for her.

Pray Together What a great way to shore up the line of protection by praying one for the other. Love and marriage is worth protecting and prayer includes the creator of marriage into the picture. Through prayer Jesus will build a fence around your marriage.

Comment: I am sure there are other ways to protect your marriage – what do you suggest?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.

Four Things I Pray for my Children

When it comes to praying for my children and grandchildren I have expressed no greater passion. It comes natural for a grandparent to pray for their grandchildren and a parent to pray for their children but I have felt that I needed to be more defined in my requests. More than “Bless them, Lord.” I needed to pray a definite and detailed request for God to actually move into their home and personal life and be the third person of their marriage and the unseen guest at every meal.  I wanted to pray, believe and record the results but “Bless them, Lord” didn’t cover all the bases.

Here are the four things I pray for my children and grandchildren.

Protection They must be kept from the invisible influences of evil that can pull at their tender hearts and minds – they must be protected. Swaying compromises and unbalanced convictions can turn their life in another direction – they must be protected. Crime, accidents, disease and trouble must be kept away – they must be protected. Wrong friends, temptations and a fading spiritual life can ruin them – they must be protected. I pray for their protection.

Preservation Life has a way of dragging you down, dragging you around and dragging you away – I pray for their preservation. Stability, closeness, and family ties are important – I pray for their preservation. Marriage, love and togetherness are valuable – I pray for their preservation. Faithfulness, committment and bonding are needed – I pray for their preservation.

Provision I don’t pray for riches but I do pray for their needs to be met. I don’t pray for wealth but I do pray they will live debt free.I don’t pray they will build bigger barns but I do pray they will be abundantly blessed. Every need to be supplied, every care to be placed in the hands of God, and every day to be filled with thanksgiving for His faithfulness.

Presence When praying for my children and grandchildren I pray most passionately about the manifest presence of God in their home and daily life. I firmly believe when God is present not much else can survive. I pray for the living room, bedrooms and kitchen is filled with the presence of God. Their heart, mind and soul is filled with the presence of God. Their home, church and school is filled with he presence of God. I pray for the presence of God to be living, active and working in their daily life.

Prayer is essential and not a routine , especially when it comes to praying for our children and grandchildren, let us pray.

Comment Below:What do you pray for your children?

Copyright by Jim Laudell.  Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.

Action or Reaction

My wife always says, “You are not responsible for other people’s action but you are responsible for your reactions.” There have been times when the “spirit of slap” comes upon you and you cautiously and, might I add, wisely refrained. In your mind you are questioning, “What were they thinking?”

But what drives these moments of uprising within us. Could we have misunderstood their motive, misapplied their reasoning or miscomprehended their actions? No, I saw it with my own eyes but assumption is not always truth. The man driving recklessly through traffic may have been rushing his sick baby to the hospital. The man you saw with a woman who wasn’t his wife may have been with his sister you have never met. A crying girl may not have been sad but was overwhelmed with the news that her boyfriend soldier was coming home. The angry woman may have just found out her son had been placed in jail for a crime he didn’t commit.

What we harshly judge others with – we ask for compassion in our own instances.

Here are a few “improved” reactionary steps:

Turn the other cheek I know – this is really tough; especially when you feel you have been wronged so many times. Learn to take the hit without twitching. Remember what Jesus said, “They do not know what they are doing.”

Grin and bear it This is similar to “turn the other cheek” but different. In this instance, you are merely smiling – showing your best side. Not fighting sword with sword but fighting with a smile. This will do more than a reactionary “bring it on, man!”

Turn it in If the insult, slander, libel or threat was severe enough you may need to turn in it to the proper authorities. If this is what is going on in public then what is being done in private. Go to the proper authorities and let them deal with it.

Let it go Nothing will eat your lunch like mulling over an angry person who told you off. Brush it off, let it go, and enjoy the freedom of not hanging on to it for the rest of the day. Someone has said that bitterness is the poison you drink meant for the enemy. Revenge will not make you happy. Let it go!

Pray about it Absolutely nothing will dissolve anger and bitterness greater than the avenue of prayer. Seek God’s advice. Ask Him for counsel. Forgive the other person. Pray God will bring the offender to a place of repentance and change. God is able to do great things through prayer.

Comment Below: Have you “turned the other cheek” recently??

Copyright by Jim Laudell. This blog post should not be considered as counseling or mental advice. Please, seek the help of a professional. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.

Ten Commandments for Wives

Kiss him when he comes home – A kiss will say more than a thousand words

Give him time to be alone

Surprise him with sexy

Compliment his leadership

Respect his decisions

Remember the way to a man’s heart is still through his stomach – feed him his favorites

His ego is fragile – make sure you instill within him confidence – he is your man

Honor him in front of your children

Be frugal – live within your means

Pray for his spiritual, mental and physical protection everyday

Comment Below: Can you add one more?

Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author.