Marry Someone You Like NOT Just Someone You Love

coupleThe crazy thing about love is it feels just right. That is until two kids later, a messy house, an overworked husband and a bad hair day. Feelings change and the subject of love is being defined in a myriad of make believe scenarios until it has become hard to really recognize it. If you follow the movie trail you simply run into someone in the rain, he covers you with his umbrella, you fall in love and magically you love each other until a major breakup. Have you ever noticed how two happily married people can become two unhappy, angry, bitter and divorced people? We could define “love” but the false images of exploding emotions and raging hormones are embedded in the minds of many youth and much easier for them to understand. But love is too passing for many, no concrete but fluid. There must be a better way to describe what real love looks like – so, here it is:

Marry someone you like NOT someone you love. Since emotions lie and feelings change, ask yourself this question, do I really like them? The sage advice of Amos still rings true, Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

HONEST? Are they transparent? Are they hiding something? Do you feel uneasy around them? Is holding secrets their big game plan? Honesty between a couple is real love and if you don’t like them holding back pertinent information then how will it be a few years into marriage?

TRUST? This is different. Would you trust him with your sister? Would you trust her with another guy? Do you trust them with money? Small areas of mistrust often grow into large areas of mistrust. Do you like the way he or she is when you are not around?

ANGRY? What ticks them off? Do they get angry easily? Have you seen levels of impatience that you don’t like? Are they calm, cool and collected or angry, anxious and agitated? Will this explosive character follow you into marriage? Give them time to change without a long term commitment and be sure and marry someone you like.

CARE? How do they treat others? Do they show concern for the hurting? Are they considerate? Is he a gentleman? Are they selfish, proud or cruel? He may look like a hunk now but how will he treat you when you are sick? She may be beautiful on the outside but is she hospitable, loving and caring?

PRAY? Are they leaning in towards God or withdrawing from God? Do you pray together? Are dates a “touchy, feely” date or an opportunity to find out more about each other’s spiritual growth and stamina? Do you know what her convictions are? Do you know what he believes?

Find out if you like the guy or girl you’re with before you fall in love.


Copyright by Jim Laudell. Materials may not be copied, reproduced or distributed without the written permission from the author. You may share on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media while giving credit to the author. This post should not be construed as medical, legal or counseling advice.

How to Win the Heart of Your Wife

Winning the heart of your wife isn’t as difficult as men may think it to be, not that woman are easy but the steps to winning her heart are not that difficult. Sometimes it simply means we must change our routine. You might add, “I am not good at this,” but you won her heart when you were dating so what is different now? You can do this but you must be willing to put your heart into it also. Merely accomplishing four steps and thinking you have done your duty then questioning why she is not responding is usually because you didn’t have your heart into it. Your heart creates the heat otherwise, it is simply a task to fulfill.

Tell her at least twice a day you love her. Looking into her eyes, say, “I love you” with passion. This is not to be construed with putting a move on your wife. She simply wants to hear you say, I Love You,” without any strings attached.

Surprise her. Don’t go out and spend a lot of money – this can have the reverse effect. Maybe a candy bar that she loves, a special Starbucks drink, or possibly wash the dishes for her and let her sit down and relax.

Compliment her This goes a long way. Heartfelt compliments can do immeasurable good in a marriage. Telling her you like the way she did her hair. Saying you like what she is wearing and honestly, “It looks like you are losing weight.”

Date her Do the things you did when dating as a young couple. recreate events that took place.Or, go to her favorite restaurant or go to an event together, maybe shopping.